


Special Delivery

by FunkyMeihem



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Australia, Captivity, F/M, Kidnapping, Meihem - Freeform, implied slavery, junkmei, meirat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-08-28 03:19:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16715642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkyMeihem/pseuds/FunkyMeihem
Summary: Junkrat intercepts a 'special delivery' inbound for one of Junkertown's top bosses. He expects the usual riches, weapons, credits, and ill-gotten gains. What he doesn't expect is finding a captive woman bound inside a car trunk.In which Mei and Junkrat confuse each other, argue a lot, make too many assumptions, and hopefully come to an understanding. Chain-choking, breakfast potatoes, and outhouses featured.





	1. Chapter 1

They’d been waiting for fucking hours since setting up. The caravan was supposed to reach the canyon around 10 AM, he knew, because he’d been the only one stupid enough to eavesdrop on that fancy-looking Suit in the Junkertown bar, the one meeting one of the Queen’s own, a Big Boss. The Suit had been intelligent enough to keep his voice low. But the Big Boss, a junker true blue- he’d had volume problems. Much like Junkrat himself, really. So when the Big Boss had blurted out about ‘something special’ arriving by canyon caravan this morning, right before The Suit had shushed him, Junkrat had managed to overhear enough.

But now it was nearly 2 in the fucking afternoon, so where the hell was it? He was sure this must have been the right spot. Unless he’d forgotten something. He hoped not. It had been a while since their last big score, and there was nothing wrong with adding some new funds to the trove.

Roadhog, who may or may not have been fast asleep with his back propped up against a canyon wall, was breathing deeply and rasping through the filters of his mask. The sound was grating and steady and was rapidly getting on his younger partner’s nerves. He had gotten bored about two hours BEFORE 10, and now they were well past due and he was ready to call it and head home, empty-handed or not.

Junkrat paced back and forth, muttered and told himself stories, and played tic-tac-toe against himself, dragging his peg to draw Xs and Os in the red dirt. His trigger finger was itchy, and the mines he’d strategically placed all over the canyon walls blinked quietly, their sensors ready for his signal. If only he had a goddamn target to activate them for.

“We done here?” Roadhog rumbled from the ground, hands folded over his immense belly. Not asleep, then.

Junkrat snarled, whirling upon the older junker with fury. “He said 10 in the morn! Heard it clear as a bell!”

“Your hearing’s bad,” Hog pointed out.

“10 in the morn, canyon caravan, something special, that’s what I heard. And that Suit looked loaded, all primmed and polished. So it’s got to be something good!”

“Looks like it might be a nothing. Let’s go.”

Even the stalwart Hog’s patience was wearing thin for this failed mission, it seemed. So with a sigh, Junkrat shouldered his grenade launcher and began shoving gear back into their respective bags. Throwing in the towel.

Except that was when he heard a distant rumble, the rattle of truck tires on flattened dirt trod. He straightened up to full alert like a meerkat, beanpole form standing straight up and staring very hard in that direction, turning his head to point one ear towards it. Roadhog took notice, and listened too. And he must have heard it as well, as he grunted and laboriously hauled his immense weight up off the ground, rolling his shoulders and drawing his scrap gun.

“Get ready, Roadie! Looks like they were just late after all!” Junkrat was already off like a shot, clambering up onto the collapsed boulders that gave him a better vantage point.

Lifting the binoculars, he peered down from the ridge. Sure enough, he saw three lorries headed down the canyon road, right towards their little camp. Perfect, perfect. And he saw five…no, six armed guards. He flailed both hands to get Hog’s attention, holding up his fingers to signal their number. Hog also held up his fingers, seven of them, and Junkrat looked down and saw he was signaling the wrong number again. He quickly changed it to six and waved again. Six. Six guards.

Six guards, three or four drivers. Easily doable.

Junkrat waited until they hit the main drag, and counted down until the moment they would be under the loose canyon scree where his mines had been planted, to bring the whole thing down behind them and pen them in. Then he and Hog would move in to tie up the smart ones, shoot the stupid ones, and take whatever needed taking. The thought practically sent him vibrating with excitement.

They were almost in range now. Show time. Fucking finally. A little late, but finally.

3….2…1…

**BOOM.**

* * *

 

Hog busied himself with mopping away the blood splatters all over his front, taking in another long hit off the hogdrogen canisters through his mask. Junkrat was tending to one of the holes. Pulse bullets, not regular type. Pulse rounds sheared through flesh easier than regular ones, but at least that meant there wasn’t any shrapnel to pick out. So they could just wrap and go, to be tended to later. Which worked for him, as he ripped off a length of bandage with his teeth and tied it in a quick knot around Hog’s wounded bicep. His mate would be fine, time to see to the spoils.

He leapt over one of their carcasses, smiling easily as he approached where the drivers had been stripped of their weapons and bound together. At least these ones had had the good sense to surrender and make things easier for them. Unfortunately, one of them still seemed to be a bit mouthy for Junkrat, threatening them about how the Queen and the Suit would be after them, make them pay, they’d seen their faces, yadda yadda. So Rat had shoved a Hog’s-blood-covered bandage in his mouth and taped it in there to stifle him. The gagging noises from their friend had shut the other ones up right quick. Whatever worked.

The first vehicle, an old battered blue ute, mostly held standard issue supplies; food, water, gas, all useful things. And now that they had the keys, it would be useful to load up and drive off. The second vehicle had just held the caravan guards, and Hog had made short work of them. But the third one? He opened it up and dragged out bags of credits and coins, hooting and laughing the whole way. And that had just been laying around in the back seat.

“Roadie! S’paydirt! What did I tell you! I told you this was a score, that’s what I told you! Hang on, bet they have even better stuff in the backsies!”

Snatching the keys from where they had been hanging in the old ignition, he giggled madly to himself as he limped back to the boot of the car, slid it home, and clicked it to unlock. It swung upward, and Junkrat looked inside and then froze. For a moment he stayed very, very still, then he shrieked and slammed it shut again. He looked positively rattled, eyes bulging and face going a bit pale, and he clenched both hands atop the lid before he whirled about.

“Uh! Roadhog! I think we got a problem!”

Roadhog grumbled from where he was still tending to his wounds. “Then deal with it.”

“Uh! Okay, lemme just…uh, shit! Hold on! Lemme check again!”

He swung the trunk open again, but the ‘problem’ was still there. She was still laying very much unconscious in her enclosed space in the back. A woman, completely naked except for a rough blanket thrown over her lower half, with the faint blue shimmer of a climate control field around her to keep her from sweltering to death in the heat. The coolness blew over him like a wave as he stood with both grimy hands resting on the bumper, staring at her in wonder.

Dark hair draped over most of her features, which he guessed to be Asian of some sort, but the rest of her was pale and soft and she had all her limbs. Her little bow-shaped lips were pursed and her breath was slow, a pair of glasses near her hands, which were both bound with zip-ties. Her arms bore bruises where fingers had grabbed her too roughly.

Shit. Well, when The Suit had been delivering ‘something special’, he really was delivering something special. You didn’t get ladies like this out in Junkertown. And Rat knew that a lady of this sort, being ‘imported’ in such a way for that Big Boss man…Well, the intentions were probably of the ill kind. Shit. Shit shit shit. He wasn’t sure even what he’d been expecting from this caravan as far as riches went, but lady captives had definitely not been among them.

He spurred himself into action, leaning in and turning her over onto her back. He tried not to look at her tits, really, tried to be a gentleman. But well, they were so big and they were THERE…Just a glance didn’t hurt, even if it made him swallow too wetly as he leaned down and positioned one ear over her lips. He could hear her breathing, luckily, felt it cool against his burning cheek. She smelled like sweat and vanilla, being this close to her. But she was breathing steadily and she didn’t seem hurt. Other than the bruises, they’d probably been pretty careful with her. High-priced commodity, this one.

He had to know. He just had to. They hadn’t, had they? They better fucking not have. He had to check.

Pulling away the rough blanket from atop her, he grabbed her by the hip and jammed his mechanical hand between her thighs, peeling them apart. Freshly shaved and fucking perfumed, probably to order. But everything looked normal and pink instead of red or puffy or abused. He pulled her apart just a little to be sure, but all seemed well, nethers-wise. They hadn’t. Not yet. So he tucked her legs carefully back onto the floor and covered her up again.

And even though she hadn’t been roughed up too bad, all things considered, he suddenly got angry. Very, very angry. Whirling about, he pulled his grenade launcher and clacked a new round into the slot, stalking over towards the cowering group of tied prisoners.

“Who the FUCK was drivin’ that one!” He uttered such a rattling bellow that even Roadhog looked up, was the younger junker pointed one arm straight out towards the opened back of the last car. “Speak the hell up! Who was in charge of that one!”

One of the men, bound next to blood-bandage-gag, timidly lifted a hand. He was an older bald man, soft-featured, not a junker. He didn’t speak, but looked a mixture of nervous, fearful, and guilty.

Junkrat snarled, hobbling forward and grabbing him up by the collar of his nice dress-shirt, dragging him across the dirt and throwing him face-down in front of Roadhog. Lowering into a squat in front of him, Rat watched impassively as the man spat out a mouthful of dust, coughing. Baldy looked up with no small amount of trepidation as a pair of golden eyes stared him down.

“Got any idea what was in the boot there, mate?” Rat said, too casually

The man’s eyes darted to the car and then back again. Silence.

“So ya knew, eh? Knew what you was deliverin’? Well, that’s no good, is it? Whole lot of ya knew?”

No answer.

“Huh! Well, enough of that. Was going to leave you out for the searchers before but…Think I’ll leave you out for the dingos instead. Don’t think it’ll be any loss for the rest of us, eh? Roadie, get rid of him. I’ll take care of our other little friends.” Rat turned back towards the little group of now-struggling, protesting men.

Roadhog lifted a brow. This wasn’t like his employer’s usual tactics. But he wasn’t being paid to ask questions, and there was something in Junkrat’s mannerisms that belied a level of anger he wasn’t used to seeing from the boy. Even though he still wore his smile and he still joked around about the casual order of all-out murder, there was an edge to his lips and his teeth were too tightly clenched, and there was fire behind those strange eyes of his.

But sometimes orders were just orders, and Hog couldn’t particularly think of a good reason to disobey.

He loomed slowly above the cowering bald man in the dirt, and lifted his gun.

* * *

 

Roadhog looked down at the unconscious woman and was silent, though silence was not unusual for him. He just stared down at her and said nothing, likely lost in thought. After a very, very long while, he drew back again and uttered a low, “…Hm.”

Rat paced back and forth behind him, gnawing at what was left of his fingernails. There was still a shred on the middle finger he hadn’t chewed down to the quick. His eyes kept flickering to the girl, to Hog, and then back again. “What do we do with her?”

Hog shrugged.

Rat continued talking, turning and pacing back the other way. “Fockin’ hell, mate, wasn’t expecting this t’be the special delivery they mentioned. You know what she’s for, Roadie! You know! Poor bird, can’t leave her here for them t’find!”

“…Hm.”

“We could pack her up! Drive her off to one of the suit cities. Uh…dump her off somewhere safe, let the law deal with her. Unless they’re in on it too. Bet it was those fuckin’ easties or crow eaters what did it to her. Shit…Didn’t even ask where they’d come from. Should’ve asked which city they snagged her in. And now we can’t! Because you killed ‘em all, you great cunt!” He turned and punched Hog in the side of his vest, which the larger man barely felt. “Arright, arright, arright, lemme think. Let’s just…Well, we can’t well hang about here, can we? There’ll be searchers before the evening’s in. Shove aside, I’m taking her.”

Shouldering his way in beside his silent standover man, Rat wedged both hands in under her unconscious form and hefted her up, cradling her in a bridal carry as her limbs and head flopped uselessly, blanket nearly sliding off her. He couldn’t help a flush coming up to heat his ears, his fingers curling in against impossibly plush flesh as he held her to his chest. “…Fuck me, she’s soft as. No wonder they wanted her, eh? Really pretty too, don’t you think? Don’t make ‘em like this out here, do they?”

Hog did not answer.

Rat carried her off to the ute, easing open the passenger door and setting her limp body into the seat, rather tenderly buckling her in. Smoothing the hair back from her face so it wasn’t stuck on her lip, he draped the blanket over her before closing her in and starting back towards the driver’s side. Roadhog was blocking his way, and Junkrat lifted a brow expectantly.

The larger man shook his masked head with a low grunt. “She’s not our problem. Don’t get attached.”

“Piss off, mate. Not leavin’ her here. She’s too soft. Poor dove, wouldn’t last a night out, and it’d be even worse if that Big Boss sends someone out and finds her. So…uh, I’ll figure out what t’do. Until then, I’m keeping her. Maybe when she wakes up, she can tell us what happened to her. Maybe even tell us a way to get her back home. Chinese, I think. Yeah, definitely Chinese.”

“How can you tell?”

“Well just look at her!” He gestured to the slumped woman in the truck like it should have been obvious.

“…Hm.”

“Don’t give me that shite, Hog. I found her, she’s mine. Fair’s fair, finders keepers, all that. Don’t forget who’s the brains in this little outfit we have here. Although you’re not getting 50% of her! I see those thoughts oozing around in that thick skull of yours, getting ideas. Rack off! This is a top score and she’s all mine! Take your half out of the rest of it!” He spread his long arms on the truck behind him, as if to shield her.

Hog merely uttered an unimpressed snort, hiking up his sagging overalls and adjusting a bandage over his bloodied arm. Still sore, he had no interest in humoring one of Rat’s moods, nor his obsession with his new pet. Slamming his gun back into his holster, he turned and galumphed over to his chopper, settling onto its seat as it groaned under his immense weight. “Not my problem.”

“Damn right it’s not! Now let’s scarper before anyone else comes up on this mess.”

At least that, they could agree on. Rat waited until Hog’s bike had roared to life, heading out of the ruined canyon and the massacre they were leaving behind. Throwing himself into the driver’s seat, Rat paused to stroke the unknown woman’s face, leaving a smear of dirt and crusted blood on her cheek. “Not to worry, lovely! We’ll get this all sorted out in the end. Get you home, get you cleaned up and fed. No need to thank me yet, heh! Well, not that I’d say no to a thank-you of any sort from you, of course.”

The stolen ute cranked up and he began steering it after the distant speck of Roadhog’s bike, still jabbering away to his newest silent companion.

“Just lucky I reached you first, before any of those drongos got their filthy mitts on you. Now me, I’m a proper gent. Um…Well, I mean, I might have had a peek or two at your bits. I won’t deny that. But only to be sure you was all right. You know, that they hadn’t laid hand or anything else on you yet. They would’ve, you know. Degenerates, that’s what they are. Poor darl, probably havin’ fretful dreams as we speak. Well Junkrat’s got you now! Heh. Won’t you be surprised when you wake up, see how safe y’are. I’m a bloody goddamn hero, is what I am!”

* * *

 

Mei awoke with a horrible throbbing pain in her head and a churning in her gut. Everything ached and just peeling her eyelids apart was a monumental effort. Where was she? And where had she been? That conference in Sydney about the Australian Environment Efforts…She’d cut herself off after a responsible two drinks, had gathered her papers, made plans to meet her cohorts for breakfast the next morning, and then had started the walk back to her hotel. After that…

It got fuzzy and strange after that. She vaguely remembered that she had been followed. She’d tried to duck into a convenience store and found it locked and closed. So she’d gone for her phone, to call for help…and then someone else had hit her from the side, grabbed her up, shattered the screen. She’d tried to fight them, biting and kicking. But at a rather squat 5’3, and feeling more dwarfed than ever in a land where people grew into giants for lack of anything better to do with themselves, she’d been overpowered quickly. There’d been a sting in her side, and then…nothing.

How long had she been out? And where was she now? She vaguely hoped that it all been some hideous dream, that maybe she’d had too many drinks after all, and all this had been false memories and drunken mistakes.

But no. When she came to, she was laying sprawled on a filthy stained mattress on a dirty wooden floor. It hurt to move but she tried, and there was a rattling clanking sound when she did so. Barely managing to tuck her chin in, she tried to focus her bleary eyes downward, to where a length of chain and a makeshift shackle was clamped around her ankle. And she was apparently wearing…a sports jersey? If she squinted very hard, she could make out ‘Adelaide Strikers’ on the front.

With a great effort, she managed to pull herself up onto her elbows with a little moan, and saw that her glasses were laying just beside the mattress nearby. Sluggishly snatching them and pushing them on, the blurry world became slightly less blurry. She was in a very small house or structure of some sort, though it was also possibly a garbage dump. There was trash and scrap metal everywhere, though it had been piled haphazardly where it had been moved away from the raggedy couch on the other side of the room. A TV was on, though on mute, with some sort of sports playing. Across the trailer, a makeshift kitchen was empty save for a buzzing fly around the sink, scattered with discarded coffee mugs.

No place she recognized. And it was definitely not a good place to be held captive. Not that there was ANY place good to be held captive. At least her attackers had left her something for her raging thirst. A mug full of water sat nearby, and though she was suspicious of its contents, she was simply too thirsty to deny it. Grabbing it up with weak hands, she downed it in several gulps and felt her poor dehydrated mouth come back to life.

Wherever she was, she needed to get out. As she stretched movement back into her aching muscles, she sat up and examined her shackled ankle, grabbing the chain and pulling until it was taut. Problem being, her chain wasn’t very long. She couldn’t reach the kitchen or the sharp scrap metal on the other side of the trailer. She had her mattress and her cup, and she could reach the ramshackle coffee table (though it held nothing but an empty mug and a remote, it looked hastily cleaned), and the smelly couch.

The windows had been drawn up and boarded, but daylight was streaming in through all the cracks and holes all over the filthy building, so it must have been near sun’s zenith. No telling where they had brought her, whoever ‘they’ were. But maybe if she could just get the shackle off, she could make an escape and find someone to help her. She hoped.

But no matter how she pried and wriggled, the shackle was too strong and the chain too thick. She had read about people who, in fits of desperation, had broken their own limbs or cut off hands and feet in order to escape such shackles. But even the thought made her feel sick to her stomach, and she resigned herself to finding another way out. She tried wriggling across the filthy floor, stretching the chain to its very limit so she could try and reach one of the scrap piles, to find a loose tool or something sharp. But the chain just didn’t reach that far. It only led to about halfway across the trailer, and everything had been piled up around the dingy kitchen, out of her grasp.

Somewhere outside, there was the sound of a door slamming.

Mei skittered across the floor and returned to her mattress, curling back atop it. Going fetal, she pulled her blanket back up to her chin and pretended to be asleep, just as the trailer door creaked open and someone entered. Their gait was strange, a weird k-thump, k-thump, like a limp. Whoever it was, they headed to the kitchen and began rattling around, ripping paper and rattling cups. Mei listened, still curled in on herself, and chanced a very small peek.

A man. A strange man, tall and skinny, with a peg leg and ratty shorts and wild blond hair. He faced away from her, puttering with a coffeemaker and humming tunelessly and cheerfully to herself. Mei shut her eyes again and tucked her chin as more cups and glasses rattled, scrunching her eyes shut tight.

K-thump, k-thump. His uneven gait started towards her, until it stopped just in front of her mattress.

A shrill, heavily Australian voice rasped above her. “Oi! You awake yet, darl?”

Then there was a hand, heavy and cold and metal, placing itself against her shoulder, and something incredibly foul-smelling was shoved up under her nostrils. Her next inhale burned, and she couldn’t help herself as she began sputtering and coughing. So much for pretending to be asleep. There was nothing to do but finally face her captor, lifting her head and staring wide-eyed and wary.

His lips split apart into a too-wide grin, and she saw the gleam of false golden teeth. He was sunburned and freckled, smeared with ash and soot, and parts of his blond hair had been singed black. And at least half of him had been so violently mangled that he bore prosthetic limbs, so crude as to be homemade. Made out of junk. A junker.

“There she is! Smellin’ salts, eh? Had some chems laying around, made ‘em meself!” He puffed up a bit, looking proud of the fact. “Might have gone a touch strong on the ammonia chloride, judging by that noise you made. Not to worry, put in two more bits of sodium carbonate, at least a knuckle’s worth. Maybe peppermint oil to make it a little easier on the palate, yeah? You get knocked out, you get woken up again, but there’s peppermint, so it’s like waking up to Christmas-”

She stared at the jabbering figure looming above her. Ammonia? Peppermint? Christmas? Was this man not entirely there or did he simply not notice that she was a rather terrified woman who was literally shackled to a wall? So she interrupted him, clenching both hands into her disgusting mattress.

“Who are you? Where am I?” Those were the two most important questions to ask. She also thought of adding ‘Will you hurt me?’ to that, but didn’t want to even bring the idea into his mind.

He blinked, then looked almost sheepish, slapping a gloved hand over his face. “Riiiiight, right! Listen to me, off on a tear again! You’re probably wondering ‘Who’s my handsome savior here’? Well wonder no more, lovely! The one and only Junkrat, at your service!”

“Junkrat?” she echoed, mystified. Junkrat. What a name.

“And your cozy boudoir here just happens t’be in my very own home! Feast your eyes, eh?” He gestured around at the junk and squalor all around them. “Might not be five star accommodations, but it’s got everything we need. No worries, you’re safe here.”

She shifted as she sat up atop her mattress, and there was an answering rattle by her foot. She looked down at it, then back to the grinning man. “You’ve…chained me to the wall,” she said, a bit of accusation in her tone.

“Of course!” he answered cheerfully. “Like I said, keepin’ you safe! Can’t have you going walkabout on your own, wandering into something dangerous or getting seen by someone who’s looking for you. What if you woke up and I wasn’t here for you and then you tried to leave? Perish the thought!”

Her heart dropped. So they were looking for her, and was the prisoner of some maniac junker in a shoddy trailer in the middle of who knows where. The filthy man even seemed to be so proud of himself. How utterly despicable.  
  
“What do you want from me?” she asked, guarded.

He blinked down at her. “Want? Oh, not to worry, I ain’t like the others. They’re dead. Killed ‘em all to a man, we did.”

She went pale. The others? Her friends back at the convention, maybe? The other scientists who had been with her? She wasn’t sure who he meant, but he was looking at her like he expected praise. Praise, for being a murderer. She was facing a murderer. She would need to choose her words carefully.

And there were other important matters to tend to. Namely…well, it was embarrassing, but nature was calling. Nature was starting to shout, actually, and she needed a bathroom. Soon. She had no idea how long she’d been asleep, but her need was urgent. Hopefully her captor would allow her that much? So even though she loathed needing to draw attention to herself, she lifted a rasping voice and hated how feeble it sounded.

“This is a lot to take in. And…I…I need to use a restroom? Please?”

Still smiling, he nodded. “Oh! Of course, sweetness! You’ve been asleep for over a day, and who knows for how long afore that. Bet you gotta piss like a racehorse, eh?” He cackled to himself, not noticing her scowl at his crude words. He fumbled about in his pockets, finally coming up with a key, before he lifted up and limped past her to the wall, clicking something with the locks that unlocked her chain from the wall. With a jerk of his head, he motioned for her to follow him, hobbling over towards the door. “The dunny’s out back. Right this way, ma’dam.”

She stood slowly on shaking legs, trying to pull the the sports jersey down a low as possible where it was riding up over her thighs. The chain rattled ominously, dragging behind her as she went to follow. The door yawned wide, and she stepped out into the impossibly bright yellow of the Australian Outback’s high noon, shielding her face with one arm as she winced her eyes shut.

The smiling junker went to take her lifted hand, but she yanked it out of his grasp, drawing away. He just looked confused at that, pinching his brows and his grin faltering for a moment, but shrugged one bony shoulder and started to lead her off. She paused out in the scorching flat yard, looking around for some kind of landmark. And there indeed was a landmark. An enormous ruin, surrounded by scattered settlements rose up in the distance, a husk of a civilization in the otherwise desolate wasteland. Junkertown. It had to be. She’d only heard of the place, but it must have been Junkertown.

It looked so far away from…here. Wherever here was. It seemed to be some kind of ruined farm, with the skeleton of a windmill creaking away in the slight breeze, red dust skittering past her feet. Past Junkrat’s trailer, a farmhouse, barricaded with wood and metal, stood tall but crumbling. There were noises from inside, the banging of metal on metal.

Junkrat was back by her side, ushering her forward. “That’s just my best mate. I uh…I suggest we don’t bother him. He’s been in a mood since I brought you here. How about we save introductions for later!”

So she had more than one captor to deal with. This situation was getting worse and worse.

“Dunny’s right back here. Know it’s not the prettiest…but well, ya know! Literal shithouse, and all!” He shrugged amiably, still grinning. “Bleached it and everything, what with lady company about. Got ya some paper in there, no big deal!” He puffed up again, and gave her another of those little looks like she was supposed to praise him. Praise him, for having toilet paper.

Then again, this was a murderous junker who had kidnapped her and chained her to a wall. Maybe it was best to be polite.

“Th-thanks?”

He brightened immediately, slicking back his ridiculous hair and straightening up from his slouch until he positively towered over her. “Yeah! No big thing! Heh! Haven’t had lady company in…uh, well, let’s not talk about that! Just thrilled to bits and bonkers that you’re here, eh? Oh, right! Right! Bet you gotta piss fierce. Right in there!”

He gestured to a crude metal structure with a little dome roof, an Australian ‘dunny’ outhouse. Warily, still dragging her chain, she approached it. The reek of a sun-baked rotten toilet assailed her nostrils, and the chemicals that were trying to cover up that reek were even worse. She gave the junker a wary glance but he just smiled and lifted one hand limply in a little ‘shoo, shoo’ sort of motion. So she screeched open the door and went inside, trying not to gag.

Hiking her flimsy sports jersey, she sat. Smell aside, at least there was some relief to be had. And privacy. And maybe a few moments to gather her thoughts.

She’d been captured by this mad junker and at least one other, his ‘mate’. He’d killed people and been proud of it. He’d taken her far away from the city, to the very outskirts of far-away Junkertown, a hostile territory. He must have stripped her down and had shoved her in this ridiculous shirt, and her lack of panties had not escaped her notice. That certainly did not bode well.

And all she had was…a length of chain and some toilet paper.

Now she just needed an escape plan…


	2. Chapter 2

He’d heard that ladies always took forever in the bathroom, but this was ridiculous. What was she even doing? Putting on makeup? It wasn’t like he’d included a vanity mirror in there. Although that was something he should think about, maybe, if she was going to be staying with him for a while. Maybe once she had gotten herself in order and realized what he had saved her from, she’d be so impressed by his efforts that she would want to stay.

The trailer was a bit of a mess, bachelor lifestyle and all. But maybe he could get a big bed in the corner or something if he moved the TV around. And didn’t fancy soft ladies like her always come with a bunch of stuff? Like hair dryers and throw pillows and salads? She had been so, so, so soft when he’d held her. No doubt she’d want shampoos and lotions for that softness, but he could nick those at a servo somewhere. And she’d want real clothes. Lots of flowy dresses and hats and panties with lace on them. He’d have to definitely make room for all that. It wasn’t the largest place for two people, but he was fairly sure he could squeeze in whatever she needed.

Unless she’d died in the dunny hole somehow, and then this was all for nothing.

“Oi! You all right in there? Didn’t fall in, did you?” Stretching his long spine with a groan, Junkrat lifted up off the rock he’d been lounging upon, soaking up the hot sun. Ambling over to the outhouse, he stood a respectful distance outside and coughed loudly. No response. Frowning, he rapped his metal knuckles on the door. The sound clanged and echoed, but there was no answer. Damn. Maybe she really had fallen in? Had the smell made her pass out, perhaps? Had the smell actually killed her?

“Awfully quiet in there, love! Uh, I’m coming in, just to check on y-”

He pushed open the door, and was immediately met with a much smaller figure lunging up from the side of the door, something wrapping around his face. He recognized it quickly as the porous fabric of her borrowed sports jersey. Even as he flailed, she heaved him forward and sent him staggering into the dunny. He slammed his face into the far wall, knocking his good knee on the seat, and he was left half slumped above the foul-smelling pit. Snarling and clawing at the fabric, he wriggled to turn about.

But the tiny crazy lady had already climbed onto the wooden bench-toilet with him, and was now able to reach his neck. And that was what she went for. She launched onto him like a mad thing, and he didn’t even have time to appreciate her bare-arse-naked body with her absolutely magnificent tits rubbing all over him, because she had grabbed up the chain attached to her foot and was choking him the fuck out with it.

Clinging to his back like a deranged little Chinese jockey, she pressed the chain into his throat until the flesh was white beneath it. Flailing in all directions now, tight agony blossoming in his crushed esophagus, Junkrat bucked and struggled. Wrenching and pulling uselessly at the pressure around his neck, he managed to slam her into the wall several times. She yelped in pain but still maintained her hold and pulled it all the tighter across his windpipe, and his vision was rapidly starting to turn white.

Slowly going limp, the junker’s lower half crumpled onto the floor, leg and peg going out from under him. For a moment he had the presence of mind to realize that his little good deed was not going unpunished, and he’d die by the apparently crazy bitch that he’d insisted on rescuing. But instead of dying, he felt the chain on his neck go slack. And still buck naked, she leapt over him and made a break for the door, chain rattling as it trailed and snaked after her, all the way outside.

Gasping a breath of air, and then regretting it because of the smell, Junkrat coughed and managed to roll back onto his hands and knees. His vision was still foggy, struggling mightily just to breathe as he grabbed the doorway and tried to pull himself up to stand, staggering outside. Though fuzzy, he could make her out as she hauled ass towards the perimeter.

Oh, fuck.

He tried to yell out to her, but nothing came out except a feeble wheeze. Ignoring the pain, he hauled himself upright and tore after her, stumbling the first few steps. His only saving grace was that she seemed to be in a panic, not sure of where she was or where she could go. She started off in one direction, but then stopped short when she saw the barbed wire fences that way. And she lost precious time as she sought another way, spinning about before she saw a clear path towards the front of the trailer and headed that way.

Ordinarily, he would have been thrilled by the prospect of a beautiful naked lady running around his house, but these were bit more dire straits. She couldn’t go past the fences. And especially not the paths that looked clear. But unfortunately the ‘clear’ paths were working as intended, and she headed right towards one.

Junkrat pulled in another breath and rallied himself enough for a burst of speed, physically throwing himself forward just as she started towards the break in the fence. Landing flat on his chest in the dirt, he launched out both arms…and managed to grab the very end of the chain still attached to her foot. Yanking back with all his might, he was both relieved and perhaps a little alarmed to watch her feet go out from under her too, her top half hanging in the air with a pretty hilarious shocked expression on her pretty face.

With an amusing little shriek, she also landed tits-first into the dirt along with him. He would have started laughing at the slapstick of it all, if he’d had a working throat to laugh with. Even as she struggled, clawing at the ground, he began pulling back, physically reeling her in like a wriggling fish.

“Hhhh! HHHHHH!” he said, shaking his head furiously and still not able to use his words.

She kicked him in the face for his troubles, flailing her dirty bare feet and landing one on the side of his jaw. He would have bellowed, if he’d had the air for it. Why did being a hero have to be so damn difficult?! He yanked a little harder on the chain than he meant, dragging her in until he could physically grab onto her still-kicking legs. He just had to get her under control, make sure she didn’t get away or things would get messy. Very, very messy.

The woman was shrieking at him, yelling to let her go. And he was unable to tell her why he couldn’t. He didn’t mean her any harm, but damned if she wasn’t dead set on getting harmed. And when she gave him another whalloping to the ribs, something poisonous in him almost wanted to let her go and let her go running off to a gruesome end. Good thing he was a decent bloke, then, and was going to save her yet again.

Unfortunately, it involved wrangling her. Tried to be gentle about it, he really did. She was so small and soft, and didn’t stand a chance against junker-style dirty fighting. He dragged her to him, hauling his heavy body atop hers, pinning her underneath. Snagging her wrists, he slammed them both in the dirt above her head.

She looked up at him with tears of horror shining in those pretty dark eyes. Heartbreaking, that was. And he realized he was in a very poor position to comfort her…Pinning a smaller, naked and terrified woman into the dirt with his lanky body in between her open and kicking legs, both her wrists restrained…

_Oh, fuck._

He released his hold on her immediately, holding up both hands pleadingly, trying to wheeze an apology or an explanation. But she couldn’t run off, not around here. He just needed to catch his breath and tell her so. Still making painful rasping noises and with both hands up, he started to climb off her, slinging his peg leg up and over.

“Hhhh!” he tried again, “Hhhhggh hh!”

He didn’t even see her own leg move until it was too late.

***

* * *

 

Mei slammed her foot up with all her might, catching the junker right in the crotch of his filthy shorts.

His eyes bulged comically, eyebrows shooting up, spittle flying off his sputtering lips. And then he crumpled again, drawing in on himself with both hands over his nethers. With a pained whistle through his teeth, he fell onto his side and curled up in the dirt. Mei scrambled backward, body smeared with sweat and red dust, managing to yank her chain out of his reach.

“Qǐng bié dǎrǎo wǒ!” Her voice was high and shrill, pleading for him to leave her alone. Her shaking limbs scrambled for purchase as she dug both feet in the ground and lifted herself up to flee once more.

He’d almost had her. That awful junker had been on top of her, ready to do it. She still wasn’t sure why he had paused. Maybe to undo his belt or tie her up again? Luckily, she didn’t give him the chance. And hopefully this time he would stay down, and she could make her way to Junkertown, get something to cover herself with, and find someone to ask for help.

Her head was still spinning with adrenaline born of fear and anger, and she was still disoriented in this horrible new place. But she set her sights on the looming specter of the wreckage of the omnium off in the distance, past the barbed wire fences and the scrubby flat plains beyond them, and started off towards a break in the fencing.

Out. She had to get out of here.

Running towards the open part of the perimeter fence, she was just ready to vault through when there was a very brief whistling sound by her ear…and then a horrible pressure in her gut. It felt like she had slammed into a brick wall, something cold and metal nearly breaking her ribs as she was yanked off her feet yet again. Suddenly airborne, the world blurring behind her, she was pulled backward by the massive metal hook that had appeared around her.

Her backwards momentum was stopped only when she was slammed into an unyielding, gargantuan barrier of muscle and fat. She found herself practically smeared up against a beady-eyed and adorable pig tattoo. Blinking, stunned and dumb and confused, she looked up slowly…into a much less friendly pig face. The stark white lenses of a grotesque leather mask stared down at her without emotion, cold and unfeeling and without pity.

Stale air hissed over her face from the mask’s filters but the man (if he even was a man) was silent. For a long moment they just stared at one another, with her pressed up against his gut and him looking down at her much tinier form. From inside the curve of his wicked metal hook, he wrapped a hand around her- a hand so massive that it encompassed much of her shoulders along with her scrawny little neck. Ignoring the little gag she made, he lifted her up and out of his hook, until only her toes were scraping the sand, turning her to face the fences she’d been running toward.

The giant pig-masked man’s other hand moved, tossing something- a discarded and rusted hunk of metal that might have once been on a car- out into the sand beyond the fence. With her glasses crooked on her face, Mei watched in a confused stupor as the metal bounced once, twice, rolling to the side and-

_BOOM._

The sand exploded beneath it in a flash of white and yellow, sending clouds of disturbed red dust in all directions. Sand particles went skittering everywhere, raining upon her even at a distance, and the bang seemed to echo across the lonely plains all around them. A landmine of some sort. The whole place must have been surrounded by mines and traps. She’d almost gone prancing right out into them.

Mei was suddenly moving again, the larger junker lifting her with no effort at all as he bent over her, dragging her up until her nose was almost touching his pig’s snout. She made no sound, body limp and boneless in his grasp. It was lucky she’d just relieved herself. No doubt she would have been relieving herself all over right about now, if she hadn’t.

A rumbling baritone rattled her very bones as he spoke. “You…weren’t supposed to be my problem.” He sounded irritated. And this was a man she did not want to irritate.

“Pr-prrr-prob…prob…” She echoed his last word stupidly, voice choked, not even aware her mouth was moving.

“…I don’t like problems,” he said, his huge fingers tightening around her neck until they were almost as tight as the chain she had looped around Junkrat’s throat. “Going to be a problem?”

No. No. She wasn’t going to be a problem. No problems here. Pig-Mask. Junkrat. Mines. Abduction. Captivity. Chains. Adelaide Strikers. Toilet paper. Peppermint. Christmas. Junkertown. Problems. No problems here. Not going to be a-

She would have told him that there were no problems here, but she suddenly felt very lightheaded, and then nothing at all.

***

* * *

 

The little woman’s eyes rolled back and then fluttered shut, and her body went limp. For a moment, Roadhog just stared at her, even shook her a little, perhaps worried that his grip had been too tight after all. But she was still breathing, her hair fluttering where it was stuck in the sweat and dust across her face. She was out cold. Probably had just been too much for her, and she’d fainted.

Shrugging, Roadhog carried her over to where Junkrat was finally staggering up from the ground. He was still wincing and half-bent over, taking several hissing breaths with his hands resting on his knees. But after a few moments, he looked up again, red bruises already blooming over the front of his throat.

He made a few attempts at speaking, vocal chords cracking and scraping before anything came out. Even then, his voice was embarrassingly squeaky and weak. “Hhh-hooly dooley…”

Roadhog stood looming over him, holding up the dangling naked body of the fainted woman with a brusque snort. “Only reason she’s not in chunks right now…is because that was funny.” He trailed off, but then looked his over younger partner up and down, and he grunted a faint noise of laughter.

Junkrat managed a silent snarl, then coughed and held up one finger, taking a few deeper breaths. “Rough start! No big deal!”

“She got you good. Heard them crack from over there…Looks like she got your neck too.”

“She’s just scared! S’all! Scared, don’t know what’s what.” Rat looked up again, then finally seemed to notice his guest’s precarious position, still without her clothes and hanging like a dead fish in his partner’s grasp. He coughed again, but managed an angry growl. “Holdin’ her like a scruffed mongrel! What’re you doin’! Don’t break her!”

“…Hm.”

Rat pried at Hog’s gloved fingers, uncurling them as he went to snatch up her unconscious form yet again. Transferring her back into his arms, he clutched her against him as if being reunited with a favorite lost toy, lifting her up and rubbing his dirty face against the top of her head. “Lookit her. Poor l’il darl, bet she didn’t mean no harm.”

“She almost-”

“I fuckin’ know she almost!” Junkrat snapped, squeezing her covetously and turning her away from his larger partner. “Almost wandered right out into the security measures is what she bloody did. Just gave me the slip for a moment is all, had a bit of confusion in the dunny. Just a big misunderstanding!”

Roadhog was leaning over him again, somehow managing to be so much taller than him, even with Rat standing well around 6’6. Roadhog was so big he could blot out the sun when he felt like it, which was what he did now. Casting them both into shadow as he blocked the light. One spike-gloved finger pressed itself into the thin meat of Rat’s shoulder, the force of even a small prod nearly sending the boy stumbling.

“Was funny once. Not going to be a problem again. Next time…”

“Won’t be a next time! Swear it!” Rat quailed, pasting on a shaky grin. “Gonna put her back in the house, comfy cozy like. No big deal! Supervised shit breaks only from now on, will make sure the chain’s shortened, and put up a few- er, slightly less deadly security measures around the trailer so she doesn’t blow herself up. Not that she’s going to make another break for it, no sir! Lookit!” He shifted one arm awkwardly, looping it around her shoulders as his hand grabbed onto her face, smushing her cheeks and pursing her lips to make her ‘talk’, putting on a shrill falsetto version of a woman’s voice. “I’m real sorry, Mr. Hoggie! I was just confused. Won’t do it again. I’m just glad those handsome junkers saved me. Especially Junkrat, he’s a hero. When I wake up, I’m going to kiss him sooooo much as a thank you!”

“Ugh,” Hog said, disgust palpable as he turned and made his way back towards the farmhouse proper.

Junkrat watched him go, still manipulating the unconscious woman’s jaw to make her ask in a squeaky voice, “What’s his problem?”

Hog vanished inside, and Rat shrugged, dropping back to his normal tones. “Dunno, love. Well, come on, let’s get you set back up. You know, if I wasn’t so pissed off at you right now, I’d actually think that whole dunny scuffle was heaps good. I mean, attacking me with your own shirt and then choking me out? Did pretty well, considering.” He turned and carried her back into the little trailer, kicking open the door with his peg as he maneuvered her in. “Of course, nearly snapping my windpipe in two, that’s left me a bit peevish. So you and me, we’re going to have a little chat about the rules when you wake up. Safety first and all.”

He carefully laid her back out on her mattress on the floor before taking up her chain, locking it back to its bolt on the wall and leaving her a little less room than before. Couldn’t have her getting feisty on him again. His throat and his balls couldn’t take another round. And if she really did irritate Hog again, she might end up splattered in the desert in one way or another.

Maybe he just needed to make her more comfortable. And she needed to stop running about starkers. It was confusing his brains and his donger as to whether he was allowed to be turned on or not. A little modesty was called for. He went out and retrieved her discarded sports jersey from where it had fallen, shaking it to get the dust off. It was a little harder to actually shove it on her again. Pulling her into his lap, he began the laborious process of dragging it onto her unconscious body, pushing her arms through and shimmying it down to cover her up.

He didn’t have anything that would cover her up downstairs, though. He’d tried to put a pair of his rarely-worn boxers on her, but to say his frame was ‘scrawny’ was a kindness, and this lady woman had nice, thick, exceedingly juicy thighs and hips. Even the thought of them made him salivate. But trying to pull the boxers up over her curves had been a no-go. And a purloined pair of Hog’s undies had been the opposite- far too wide and large for her, her small body practically swimming in them.

Nothing for it. Maybe he could go and get her a bunch of fancy dresses later, something more befitting of a lady like her. And jewelry! Wouldn’t she look ace with a bit of sparkle and shine? And cute little shoes with bows on them, and then she could step on him with them. Or wait, no. He was getting ahead of himself again.

He really just needed to make sure she was secure, first. No more break-for-its. So he yanked the chain again and saw that it didn’t budge from its bolt in the wood. Good. He bent his long spine over her, kissing her very chastely on the forehead before sliding her out of his lap and positioning her just-so upon the mattress. Draping a blanket over her and turning on the TV, he rose and hobbled back out the door, into the refreshingly sweltering sun of the Outback’s afternoon.

***

* * *

 

Mei awoke again a little later, with the whining buzz of a fly circling around her ear. Jolting upright, she found herself in the exact same spot she’d woken up before. She was back in Junkrat’s trailer, shoved into her flimsy sports jersey, and chained up atop her mattress. And this time he’d shortened the chain, no longer even able to reach the couch.

Her escape attempt had been an abject failure.

She was no longer just dealing with Junkrat, but also a pig-masked man who was several times larger than his mate. She couldn’t even clearly remember what the man had said, only that it had sounded threatening. And she had almost stumbled into a literal mine field. She could have died, or been maimed, or had her legs blown off. Not that the junkers cared, if they were only after what was between them. Junkrat had already tried it and…She didn’t want to think about that.

There was no more water in her cup, and she wondered if maybe she would be punished for her transgressions. She’d almost choked the smaller one to death and then had kicked him between the legs in her haste to get away. No doubt that Junkrat didn’t appreciate that one bit. Would he beat her? Starve her? Leave her to suffer? Something worse? She didn’t want to think about that either.

She spent a few more minutes struggling uselessly; pulling at her chain, stretching her arms until they hurt, trying to reach the piles of scrap and tools, blindly reaching under the couch for anything that might have been there, and even briefly pondering if she could make the remote into some kind of explosive or weapon. But it was no good.

Mei was trapped. She was trapped by two murderous, dangerous junkers. Terrorists, who had snatched her off the street for their own foul purposes. And she couldn’t find a way out.

She returned to her mattress, tugging the ragged blanket around her despite the overwhelming heat. Pulling off her glasses, she sniffled noisily before burying her face in both hands. And she cried.


	3. Chapter 3

Mei lay listlessly upon her mattress, face still bleary with tears as she stared dully at the television screen, not really watching the rugby match still going strong. She was tired from crying, hunger and thirst gnawed her insides, her outsides were sore and dirty from the scuffle earlier, and her mind ached with numb fear and despair. She’d had one chance, and it had only led to her nearly getting killed by minefield, roughed up by the pig-masked man, and summarily recaptured. And there might not be any more chances.

She heard the faint k-thump k-thump sound of a familiar peg leg outside, clacking up to the door. She immediately drew back into the corner, covering herself with the blanket. There was the clicking of a series of locks, and then a peg leg slammed the door open and Junkrat was back again. This time he was hauling a bulging burlap sack, which he threw into his makeshift kitchen before starting to empty it. To Mei’s relief, it only seemed to hold cans and containers of food, which he dutifully began stacking on his haphazard shelves.

Eying him warily, Mei remained withdrawn and silent, trying to make herself very small in her corner. But it was only a matter of time before his supplies were stacked, and he dusted off his hands and rounded upon her, placing both hands upon his bony hips. With that crooked smile, he grinned down at her as if they hadn’t been fighting for her life in the dirt just hours earlier.

“Well lookit who’s up yet again!” he said, almost mockingly friendly still. “Just in time for a tucker! Bet you’re hungry, eh love? Haven’t had anything in you since the back of that car, I wager.”

She didn’t answer, merely squinting at him. Back of what car? Perhaps he’d shoved her into the back of a car in order to get her here? She had no memory of anything after getting cornered on that side street. And she was ragingly hungry and thirsty. Not that she’d admit it to him.

“Still pissy, eh?” he grinned at her silence, snickering under his breath with clear glee. “Kinda thought a roll in the dirt might stir up an appetite. Then the whole chain fiasco. Didn’t take you for the slap and tickle sort, but I guess you like it a bit rough.”

Mei turned her head and stared at the floor, tucking her face into her knees. She definitely did not want this Junkrat going down that trail of thought. But he took no notice of her chagrin and kept on talking.

“Heh! Silent treatment! That’s tough tits for you, love, because I jabber on enough for ten people. How about some din-dins?” He paused, but received no answer. “No? Nothing? Guess I’ll just make meself a big Hog-sized plate of eggs and hash all for my lonesome, then!” The junker was already tying on an absolutely filthy grease-stained apron that read KISS THE COOK in much-faded letters, though it looked like he’d purposefully scrubbed away part of an O so it read KISS THE COCK instead. Ugh. Typical. And disgusting.

She remained curled in her corner, watching him balefully as he set up what looked to be a camp stove and pan. Her heart did seize a little when he picked up a rather large knife, but he didn’t even turn her way. She couldn’t see everything the strange man was doing, his beanpole form with his back to her blocking some of whatever he was chopping up on the counter. And throughout it all, just like he said, he talked.

“Now you and I, sweetness, we’re going to have a chat about hospitality. Because I’ll be damned but you’ve gone and pissed all over mine. But you know what, not even that mad at ya. Just scared. Weren’t you, darl? Moved too fast when you woke up, s’my fault really. Probably your head’s all fucked from how I found ya.” He continued chopping, rough enough that she saw flecks of something or other flying into the air. “So I’m gonna be the decent bloke here and let you know that bygones are just bygones! Pretty gallant for someone you just near on ganked with a chain, don’t you think? But really, don’t try to make another attempt at that because Roadie’s in one of his moods, and someone usually dies when he’s in one of his moods. And you’re too cute to get splattered. Oi! How d’you like your eggies!”

Mei stared at him from over the tops of her knees and maintained her shield of silence.

Junkrat sighed wearily. “Nothing? I see how it is. Well guess what, Sullen Sally, you being a little snit about things isn’t improving the situation here. And you just lost dinner fork privileges, by the by! Yeh, I see how you’re looking at me, thinking you’re going to fork ol’ Jamison in the back. Well I’m onto you. It’s spoons for you from here on in.”

He hummed tunelessly to himself as he began piling things into the frying pan, sparking up the camp stove. And soon she recognized the scent of cooking onions and potatoes, the vapors instilling a hunger in her that had only been kept at bay by fear. If Junkrat was right, it really had been days since she’d last eaten, and she was feeling it. And while her junker captor bobbed to some unheard beat and kept cooking, she found herself not really caring what it was that he was making, if he just gave her some.

Unfortunately, her silence earlier (probably combined with trying to kill him before that) had not done much for his good will. As she watched, he piled an enormous portion of hash and eggs onto a plastic tray instead of a plate. Frankly, she was surprised he didn’t eat out of a trough. And instead of offering her any, he took his tray and ambled over to his couch, setting it on his lap as he picked up a fork and promptly began shoveling piles of food into his jaws as he watched her.

Mei glanced up very briefly to his wild golden eyes, then back down to the tray of hash. She was literally salivating now, and swallowed thickly a few times as she tried not to let it drool out of her mouth. Junkrat only smirked even harder when he noticed, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he really did intend to taunt or starve her for her transgressions. He couldn’t be trusted, after all.

He speared a chunk of potato on his fork and pointed it at her. “I can see you’re hungry. Well, I offered you some! S’wrong? S’not poison, see? You don’t like eggs, maybe? What do you like? If you tell me, I’ll get it for you. But you gotta talk to me, pet. How about we start with your name, and then you tell me what you’ll eat.”

She warily bit her lip, but her snarling stomach was too strong to ignore. And he might as well know the name of the lady he had abducted. So she drew herself up a little and kept her eyes on the tray of hash. “Mei-Ling Zhou…Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou.”

His bushy eyebrows shot up. “No foolin’? A doctor! Maybe my luck is changing, I snagged a doctor! Listen, doc, think you could take a look at me? Have enough aches and pains to fill a list. And I got this weird lump on my-”

“Not that kind of doctor!” She held up both hands quickly, warding off any more talk about his lumps. “Not a medical doctor.”

Rat wrinkled his nose in disappointment, then shrugged. “Eh! What use is a doctor who can’t do doctor things? All right, Mei-Ling Zhou. Mei-Ling. Mei. That’s a pretty name.” He turned his crooked smile upon her, clearing his throat and trying a little too hard to be suave. “Pretty name for a pretty lady.”

She half-lidded her eyes at him in reply.

He merely took another huge bite of his dinner, chewing noisily and speaking around a jaw full of food. “Still pissed at you, mind. Gonna have bleedin’ blues and purples all over my neck for a week and my voice is cracking all over, worse than usual. And you trying to kill me in a shithouse? Hell of a location to take someone out. Insult to injury, that is. You know, Miss Mei, I gotta say I rather expected a little more gratitude on your end. ”

Gratitude! He expected gratitude from her! She could feel her hackles rising at the very thought, but she was still very much aware of her situation- chained to a wall and half-naked. She couldn’t risk angering him. So she swallowed and kept her voice soft. “Sorry? I was…scared.”

“Aw, sweetness!” Rat’s gaze softened, going positively gooey in their centers, and his maniac grin almost became a regular one. “See! I knew it! S’not your fault, you just didn’t know what was what, just like I said. Well not to worry. You’re completely safe here with me! I’ve made sure of it. Come on, dry your eyes. Give us a smile!”

She did not give him any sort of smile. “Junkrat? You said your name was Junkrat. Please…you have to let me go.”

He scrunched his face to one side again, spearing another hunk of sausage and shoving it in his gnashing maw. “Sorry, love. I already told you, can’t just let you go off on a lark. Not around here. There’s too much danger around here for wanderin’ guests. And not with folks out looking for you. I shudder t’think of the consequences! You arready saw one of our security measures? Well, they’re for good reason. I know what they’re like. But I’ll keep those louts away from you if it’s the last bleedin’ thing I do.”

“What if…What if you just let them find me? What if you just let me go, and they found me, and I didn’t tell anyone that you took me! Nobody has to get hurt, if you just let them find me safe.” She turned upon him with pleading eyes, pulling her blanket closer around her. It was a long shot, but if the police were searching for her, maybe she could convince the junker to free her in return for clemency.

It didn’t surprise her when he denied her request. What did surprise her was his confusion over it. His brows knitted up and he stared at her as if she was the one who was crazy. “The fuck? Are you bloody mad, love? You  _want_  me to let them find you?”

“Of course I do! Why wouldn’t I!”

He set the tray down, still out of her reach. Seemingly baffled, he rose and began pacing uneasily, smoothing back his soot-stiff blond hair. “Well this is…Arright, I see how it is! During our little scuffle, I must have whomped your head a bit. That’s all. Rattled your brains about, and now you’re spitting nonsense. Because you’d have to be mad to want that.”

“There’s nothing mad about it. And I promise you, I won’t tell them that you’re involved. You and your friend, you’ll go completely free. We can just…go our separate ways. Nobody gets hurt, and I can go back with them. Everything can still work out if you just let me go.”

He lunged at her so suddenly that she recoiled, slamming her back into the rough wooden wall. The lanky junker loomed over her, gaze skeptical as he brought his face uncomfortably close to hers. So close that she could smell the eggs and hash he’d just been eating. She almost would have kissed him for a taste of it, if she hadn’t been trying to lean as far away from his person as possible.

Rat stared very intently into her eyes through her glasses, then frowned. “Huh. Was seeing if you got wonky pupils.Ya know. Brain damage. Maybe a little concussion. Don’t fret, lovely, I’ve had plenty of concussions and I turned out just fine! Because that’s what you probably have is brain damage, talkin’ like that.”

“I’m not…concussed. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now please, just let me go!”

He still looked baffled. Still eying her, he shook his head, doubt clear. “You honestly want me to return you to them? Are you having a go at me, Mei? Or is this…Wait, is this some sort of suit rich-lady sex thing?”

“S-sex thing?!”

“Like…get yourself ‘kidnapped’ by junkers? And then they rough you up a bit? Like you have this bad boy fantasy? Or is this like…a cuckold thing? You and your hubby set this up?”

“Husband? Fantasy? What on earth does that even mean! W-why would anyone, why do you think I would…No! What are you talking about!”

Junkrat merely looked confused and even a bit put out. “Because…Look, if this is just some weird fetish you got, this kind of changes how everything went down. And…wow, fuck am I ever in trouble if that’s the case! But I mean…uh, if you really want some junker action sex fantasy here, I’m just saying, if you want that, I’m always available t- OW!”

***

* * *

 

She’d hit him. The bloody crazy not-doctor lady had just hauled off and slugged him. It didn’t hurt, really, not like when she’d choked him out and had the leverage to do so. From down there, she was just too small and soft and there was no power behind it. But she’d clearly meant it to hurt, so he humored her and yelped a bit, falling back right onto his arse.

This Mei-Ling Zhou, who was a doctor but not the right type of one, was even cuter when she was mad. And lucky him, but she seemed to be constantly mad. Even now she was glaring at him, full offense taken.

“How dare you! How can you treat this as a joke!”

He snorted and scooted away from her. “Touchy, touchy! I’m not the one who wants to go running off into…that kind of particular situation! And they say I’m touched in the head. You? You got problems, darl.”

“You’re the one keeping me  _chained to a wall_! After…After what you tried to do to me!”

He threw up both hands. “For the bloody record, I did not! I was trying to _gently persuade_  you not to go runnin’ off into a fuckin’ minefield! So yes, I had to jump on you, but only a little. You know, after I tried calling out to you, but couldn’t. On account of you stranglin’ me to a half death in a goddamn shithouse! And don’t think I forgot that absolutely spot-on nut shot you gave me. Fockin’ hell, I’m going to be singing soprano for weeks.”

“I was trying to stop you from hurting me! Just let me go!”

“I’m not hurting you! For the last time, I am  _not_  the junker what was going to hurt you!” he couldn’t help the snarl creeping into his voice, even if it hurt his throat and made her cower. “I know that you rich doctor lady types think all junkers are the same, but it’s not the case. Here. I know your brain’s rattled, so I’ll make this easy to remember for us both. Me, Junkrat. Me good. Good junker. Junkers out there? Baaaad junkers. Me keep you here for your own safety. Ya bloomin’ nutcase, ya.”

“You’re not funny!” she snapped, though she still shrank away from him.

“I happen t’think I’m hilarious!” he answered primly, putting his nose in the air and placing a hand to his bony chest. “Look, darl. This is all getting off on the wrong foot. And that’s bad news for me, because I only got one! Ha!” He shrieked a laugh, but she merely looked unimpressed. Tough crowd. “But look. I promise you, even though I dunno what your weird deal is, I’m not gonna let you come to harm. Never. I tried to tell you, the only reason I put on your cuff there was to keep you from wandering out into danger. And right the damn moment I took it off you, you wandered out into danger…Well, it’s clearly going to stay on a little longer until we hash a few things out. Oh, right, I still got that hash left…”

She eyed him carefully, clearly distrustful. “But…You can take it off me soon, right? And you don’t want to hurt me? Or do… _anything_  bad, to me?”

“Swear it! Upon my very life.” He straightened up to his massive height, slapping a hand over his heart. “I won’t hurt ya, and you and me, we can figure this out. And I’ll make it comfy for you as long as you’re here, until we figure what’s what. Promise.”

Mei was silent for a long while, rubbing up and down her arm and not looking at him. He offered her his best smile, the constrained one that looked a little less boom-crazy. She didn’t smile back, but she did finally look back at him. Even though he knew his promise still wasn’t worth too much to a scared and clearly confused woman, she seemed a bit less outright terrified of him.

“Can I…please have something to eat?” she finally asked, wrapping her arms around her stomach rather meekly. “And drink? Please?”

He brightened, holding up a finger for her to wait before he went scrambling back to the sofa, with its tray of eggs and hash. He didn’t have the fine china she was probably used to eating off of, being a fake doctor and all, but it would have to do. Heaving the coffee table over in front of her mattress with a screech against the wood floor, he juggled the food tray up in one hand and brought it slamming down in front of her.

She swallowed hungrily, but was still looking up at him in a very expectant manner. Oh right! Ladies didn’t eat with their hands like he usually did. Holding up two fingers, trying to signal her to wait even longer, he went limping back into his kitchen, sorting through his cabinets and completely forgetting where everything was in the process. She’d lost sharp cutlery privileges, but he still needed to find a spoon, after he’d used the last batch of metal spoons as connecting rods for that one bomb one time back in-

He slammed open a cupboard and found it crammed full of cans of preserved peaches, the shelf below crowded with beans. Ah, two of his favorite things. Maybe she would want some, but later. He did manage to find a wooden stirring spoon in with a collection of tinfoil and rubber bands. And he’d have to try and remember where those were, for the next time he needed them. He probably wouldn’t remember. What was he going to remember, again?

Hobbling back the few steps across his humble home, he set down the too-large spoon and a new mug of water on the table before her, then reeled back, clasping his hands and waiting expectantly. And lucky him, but the lady did still have her manners. She looked a bit confused at the gigantic spoon, but picked it up anyway as she shuffled herself closer to her meal, looking up at him with a little “…Thanks.”

“Any time! Any time, love! You just have a bite to eat, and then we’ll talk about…everything else, I guess? I mean, you can’t honestly expect me to just let you go wandering off to…ugh. The others. I’d be an irresponsible host. Can’t have that.”

“What others? You mean that masked man?” She had an awkward time with her oversized utensil, but after a few wary bites, she became a whirling dervish of spoons and eggs and potato bits, shoveling it into her jaws almost as eagerly and rudely as he had. Poor thing.

He smiled dreamily as he watched her stuff her face, bits of egg falling out of her lip. She really was a cutie. “Roadhog? Nah. Look, I know he’s pretty fearsome. But underneath that gruff, blood-spattered exterior is…” His eyes drifted apart slightly, trailing off. “Huh. No, I guess he’s pretty much himself. Well they don’t call him the one-man apocalypse for nothing. But he’s my best mate and one hell of a standover man in these parts. I didn’t hire him on for nothing, you know. He won’t be hurting you, so long as you just don’t get in his way. And while you’re safe in here, you won’t! Easy peasy!”

His eyes swerved away from her meal, easily distracted as ever, to the television still playing off to the side. The sports had finished a while ago, and now it was some sort of news show. A skirt-clad woman with large breasts and a larger smile was showing off the weather for the next week. Not surprisingly it was hot, hot, and more hot.

Mei spooned up the last of the eggs, though she seemed strangely hesitant about the sausage. She looked at it with a knitted brow, bit her lip, looked at it again…and then finally scooped it up and ate it too. Junkrat tilted his head at her.

“Not to your liking, darl? I can make ‘em even crispier next time. Got a nice new blowtorch, even, can put it to good use!”

“Erm…No thank you. I normally don’t eat meat, is all. But…I was really hungry. Thank you?”

He practically wiggled at even the most basic gratitude. “Yeah yeah yeah! Whatever you need, darl! I’ll get it for you!”

“But shouldn’t we talk about me going home? You said you’re not going to hurt me but…I don’t belong here. Why did you even bring me to this place?” She hugged herself, and he couldn’t help it as his eyes darted to the way the thin jersey clung to the sudden bulge of her chest.

 _No no no. Eyes up, Junkrat. Eyes up_. He cleared his throat and forced his gaze back up. “Because it’s the safest place in the Outback, love. Not like I could take you back to wherever it is you came from until I know where that is! And even then, you’re a long travel from any of the coastal cities.” His eyes darted again when he saw his words only upset her further. “But we’ll get you there! We just got to lay low for a bit while they’re combing around for you. The one you were meant for, he is not happy. Went through a lot of trouble to rescue you, after all.”

She gave him a strange look. “Rescue me?”

“Yeah! When I rescued you from those other junkers!”

“…Other junkers? What do you mean-”

He didn’t hear the rest of what she said, because suddenly there were two of her. For a moment he thought maybe his brain had crossed wires again. That happened sometimes. But no, there were definitely two Meis. The jersey-clad Mei in front of him, who still had a bit of egg stuck on her chin…and another Mei on the television behind her.

“Hold up! Hold the phone! Shhh! Shut!” He snapped his fingers loudly, then made a zipping motion near her mouth, which seemed to startle her into silence. Blindly groping around him, he grasped her spoon and pointed it at the tv, before throwing it away and replacing it with the remote, slamming the audio on. Mei turned to follow his gaze, both of them looking to the news program.

A female voice was narrating. “-environmentalist expert from Xi’an, China, visiting for the Australian Environment Efforts summit in Sydney. Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou was reported as a missing persons by her summit cohorts nearly four days ago. Foul play is suspected, and the police are currently following up on several leads. If anyone has any information on Dr. Zhou’s whereabouts-” More pictures of Mei flashed across the scene. “They are encouraged to bring it to the attention of the authorities. A substantial reward has been offered for-”

The words ‘reward’ and a series of numbers popped up at the bottom of Mei’s last known photo. A very nice set of numbers. A very generous set of numbers. All for rescuing someone that he had already rescued. This little not-doctor sitting half-nude on top of the mattress beside him was apparently worth serious coin. Enough coin to get a man’s attention, for sure.

The missing persons report ended and the news went on. Mei herself seemed rather dumbfounded, slowly turning to give Junkrat another very wary look. Her apprehension was back, posture tense as if she was not entirely certain how he was going to react.

Junkrat was already grinning back at her.


	4. Chapter 4

  
“Sooooo, can we? It’s all working out just how I planned! This is heaps good!”

“Absolutely not.”

“Darl, you’re killin’ me here! Just give it a chance!”

“I am not going to give it any sort of chance.”

“Fockin’ hell, woman! All you gotta do is sit there for a while, while I do all the hard stuff. You get some sort of sick delight in makin’ things more difficult than they gotta be?!”

Mei narrowed her eyes at him behind her glasses. “You are actually asking for my permission to keep me captive? And you expect me to give it to you?”

“Well when you put it like that, of course it’s gonna sound a bit off,” Rat grumbled, bony shoulders hunching as he folded his arms in his most petulant manner. “So let me put it in a much better way for you. You’ve got blokes what are still looking for you, the kind who want to kill me and Hog and take you to the Big Boss who wanted you in the first place. Now, neither of us want that to happen, do we? Of course we don’t! So why don’t you just sit tight here at Junkrat’s Bed and Breakfast for just a while longer, and once the air’s cleared a bit and there aren’t so many eyes trying to find you, we’ll sneak you out somewhere safer. We’ll get you to a city, and you show up as pretty as you are right now, and then you go on your merry whilst yours truly collects the reward! Easy peasy!”

“There is nothing easy or peasy about that!” Mei shot back, pointing to the chain still shackled to her leg. “And what were you talking about before? What other junkers? What’s a Big Boss?”

He scratched at his sparsely-haired head, and she tried not to wince when his locks actually crunched under his fingertips. They must have been so filthy with soot and dirty that they stood almost straight out. With a shrug, he leaned back on both arms and regarded her curiously. “You mean you really dunno? You can’t remember anything?”

She hugged herself again. “No. I remember being on a side street in Sydney and realizing someone was following me. I don’t know how many there were, because I turned around to face them, but there was another one, and then I must have blacked out. I think they drugged me? And then I wake up here with a chain around my leg and…I thought you…”

Junkrat sucked on a tooth, giving her a look that resembled pity, or at least the most pity that was to be had from a junker. “Well no wonder you’ve been nattering nonsense, then! Poor little pookie, had no idea what was going on. Lookit, sometimes the higher-ups in Junkertown get a taste for something fancy. So they’ll send out some boys to hit the cities for whatever they want. Sounds to me like the Big Boss decided he wanted himself a certain type of lady. And I know the bloke you were meant for, darl. Not someone who would’ve done you any good, none at all!”

“You mean they would have-”

“Uh huh.”

She averted her gaze, pulling her blanket tighter around herself. “How did you find me?”

“Let’s just call that a ‘happy accident’, yeah? I just happened to intercept the caravan what was carrying their special delivery. Didn’t know the delivery was you, of course. Was ransacking the lorries and found you tied up in the trunk. Completely in the nuddy, crammed in there like a wrapped up parcel. Might have seen a bit of red when I realized what was going on. So me and Hog took care of them all, right then and there. Like I said, killed them all to the last man.” His strange eyes swerved back to her expectantly, clearly wanting praise again.

Mei thinned her lips, unsure whether to be happy with that news or not. Generally she abhorred killing of any sort. But it was hard to get upset over the deaths of men who would do such heinous things. She just nodded meekly and let him talk. He seemed to like talking.

“Knew the Big Boss would be out scouring every corner of the Outback, looking for you and looking for the ones what killed his boys and took everything from him. Left him a false trail, and then Hog and I went roundabout and took you to my home sweet home. Tried to get you some pants, honest I did. But--” he gestured to his exceedingly scrawny waist, wrapping both hands around it so his fingers touched— “nothing doing, measurements wise. Work in progress, no worries. I’ll get you something comfy.”

“And you’re sure the chain was really necessary?”

“I should bloody well say so, since the first thing you did when you slipped it was to run off and near kill yourself. After all the trouble I went through? Too dangerous for you to go scampering about. Maybe if you behave, we can talk about your Casa de Junkrat privileges. But until then, you can only go on walkies when I’m with you. Can’t let the other junkers spy you out.”

She gave him a dirty look, but took a deep breath and remained calm. This new information changed things. “Listen, Junkrat. I believe you when you say you rescued me from those men. I’m thankful. I really am. But if you can just get me a communication signal, I can contact my, um…associates? If I can’t, you’re going to have a lot more complicated things to deal with than just other junkers.”

“Oi, that a threat? Really?”

“No! I’m not trying to threaten you. I’m just saying, I have friends who might get the wrong impression if they’re able to track me down and find me chained to a wall in whatever this place is. And I don’t want you to get hurt if things go bad.”

His eyes went gooey again, leaning towards her. “Ya do care!”

“I don’t want you or anyone to get hurt, is what I meant!” she clarified quickly, setting her jaw and scooting away. “This is all just a big misunderstanding. So, if you just let me call them, I can just have them pick me up.”

“Now now now, what about the money? They’re not the ones offering the reward for your return, are they?”

“Money? I’m not sure they can… I mean, I can ask them when I call--”

“AH HA!” He pointed at her suddenly with a screaming laugh, his filthy finger almost in her face and making her reel back so hard that she nearly fell over. “Trying to give ol’ Junkrat the slip, are we? Well I’m onto you. ‘Not sure’ if they got the money or not. And if they don’t, they’re gonna come here and rescue you and blow my cover. And then I’m left with no reward and a Big Boss and his Boys after my hide! Hard pass, darl. Hard pass.”

“Junkrat, you can’t just--”

“Nope! Sorry, love, but seeing as I’m the brains of our special little trio here, we’re going to do things my way. Don’t fret your beautiful little head, Mei. You’ll still be getting out, and I’ll still be getting a fat stack of credits for your safe return. I mean, that is, unless you decide you want to stay here.” He leaned towards her and clasped his hands together, metal digits clicking on his mechanical one. “We can skip the whole thing, if you want. If you wanna stay.”

There was that wounded and lovesick puppy expression on his face again, but she turned him away as primly as she had before. “Listen, Mr. Rat-”

“Heh! Hehehehe! Mr. Rat! I like that! You’re funny, Mei. I like ‘em funny. Junkrat’s just my esteemed moniker. Real name’s Jamison Fawkes, the Third, Esquire, Junior, and some other things I forgot. You like it?” He crammed himself closer to her again.

Savior or not, she was getting very close to physically shoving him about now. Trying to rein in her temper, Mei took a deep breath and held up a hand to keep him at bay. “Okay. Mr. Fawkes. If you would please stop interrupting me every other-”

"Word? See! We're finishing each other's sentences already!"

"Mr. Faw—"

“You can call me Jamison! Or Jamie. Or Mr. Fawkes. Or Junkrat. Or Mr. Rat. Or you can make up any ol’ pet name for me that you like.”

“Mr.—”

“How about Pooky Bear?”

Mei just put her face in her hands and gave up, sighing through her fingers.

She couldn’t tell someone like him about Overwatch. Winston had offered her a place among them, but Overwatch as an entity had been made illegal and the world had changed so much in nine years that it felt like she was starting all over again. She’d taken it upon herself to head back out into a world that had left her behind, trying to catch up on everything she had missed. The environment summit in Sydney was supposed to be the start of her getting her career back on track. And like everything else in her life, it had gone completely off the rails.

At least one of them seemed excited about this whole mess. Junkrat picked up her dirty meal tray, scraping a stray piece of egg away with his fingers and sucking them clean. It looked like he also sucked a healthy amount of dirt off the tips of them, and they came away slightly less gray than before. Mei wrinkled her nose at him, and he grinned back at her.

“Now I can understand that you got concerns, but it won’t be all bad. You can watch the telly whenever you like, I’ll get you some of Hog’s books, get you something proper to wear, and whatever else you want. Think of it as an impromptu vacation?” His long spine creaked as he leapt up off the ground, tossing the dirty tray into the dry basin of his makeshift sink. “Or a junker style sleepover! S’gonna get dark soon. You know, you’re lucky you’re not in with Roadhog. The sounds he makes when he snores, you’d think he was dyin’. You don’t snore, do you?”

“No. I don’t snore.” Mei glumly propped her chin atop her knees. She couldn’t be too terse with a man who, though annoying, seemed to have at least decent intentions towards her. She would still need to press the issue about getting a call out to her friends, but maybe one night would satisfy Junkrat’s savior complex and she could talk some sense into him later.

Maybe.

 

* * *

 

He’d talked her into it! The poor little not-doctor had just been confused this whole time, that was all. She’d been afraid that he was one of the blokes out to do her harm. But now she finally understood that he was the furthest thing from it, and a proper gent. Probably was still a bit shellshocked from it all, but he’d convinced her to see things his way for now. Still needed to keep an eye on her while she settled in, of course. She probably still thought she might get a signal out to someone, and unwittingly bring ruin upon them both. But he could talk some sense into her later.

Junkrat was sure of it.

What poor Mei needed now was to relax and de-stress. Frankly, he could use a de-stresser himself. It had been a hell of a day for them both. At least his balls had stopped aching, although his throat was going to be in a state for a while yet. But she’d just been scared and hadn’t meant it, so he could forgive her, of course.

He thought that maybe offering her a massage was the ticket, because nothing was more soothing than being all rubbed up on by someone who didn’t want to kill you. But for reasons he didn’t entirely understand, she still looked a little upset. At least she still wasn’t cringing away from him like before, but even though she was safe and she was fed and had a place to rest, she looked unhappy. Maybe it was just some sort of fancy lady problems that men like him would never understand. He would just have to try harder.

“Junkrat?” she said.

His heart had grown little wings which fluttered every time she said his name. Even when she called him ‘Mr. Rat’, which was still hilarious, he still loved any way she addressed him. Anything that fell out of those soft little pink lips could be nothing less than perfection.

Until she finished with “I’d like to be alone, please. Sorry.”

Scratch that. That was less than perfection, right there. He felt his heart sink, but quickly reminded himself that of course she was still all mixed up and scared. Fancy ladies were delicate things, after all, and she needed time to acclimate. Probably best to nix the massage and give her some space. So he brightened and nodded. “Of course, of course! Sure you got a lot on your mind, heh. Promise you, it’ll all look brighter in the morning. Gotta go talk shop with Hog anyway, but I’ll be back soon. Uh…You need anything?”

“No, thank you. I just…I just need to think. Sorry.”

Frowning, he rubbed awkwardly at one arm and suddenly wasn’t sure what to do with his hands. He eventually settled on shoving them into his torn pockets and nodding as he slouched on out the door. “Arright, arright. Guess it’s not much good for thinking if I’m yammering away. I’ll be back soon, though. So you just…think? Uh…Yeah.”

There was no answer and she wasn’t looking at him, and he couldn’t help feeling disheartened as he shut the door and locked her in.

Traipsing across the dusty yard, kicking an empty tin can along the way, he made his way to Roadhog’s side of the compound, in the much larger garage and farmhouse that the old bikie called home. Rapping loudly on the door beforehand, he took the liberty to invite himself in as he always did. Roadhog had given up on breaking him of that habit ages ago.

Hog was bereft of his mask, though somehow the dim lighting always seemed the conceal the man’s face anyway. He stood before his cookstove, the blue and red flames throwing odd shadows across features marred with scar tissue and the bristles of a white beard. The smell of something frying was heavy in the air, and Junkrat’s stomach promptly forgot that he had just eaten and growled for more.

“Oi, Roadie.” Rat scraped a chair out from the table, slumping down onto it. Sighing dramatically for attention, he leaned back and propped both peg and boot up onto the table.

“Guess she didn’t manage to kill you, then.” Hog remained on-task, not bothering to look his way.

“Nah, mate! Me and her, we had a real sit down together, talked it out, explained the rules to her. Uh…updates to that whole situation, actually. Did ya know she’s someone important?” Rat said, balancing his chair carefully on two legs just to keep himself busy.

Roadhog just grunted, giving his cookpan a shake.

Rat still jittered with nervous energy, continuing on. “Her name’s Mei, by the by. Mei-Ling Zhou. She’s a doctor, but not the right type of one so it don’t really matter. She’s got really pretty eyes. I know because that’s where I’ve been looking instead of her tits. See, I know how to be a gent. And it turns out she’s worth money, Roadie.”

“How much money?” Hog sprinkled sesame seeds onto the saucy chicken and fried noodles. Grumbling to himself, he pulled a smaller plate from the shelf nearby, slopping some of the cooking onto it before dumping the rest into a large mixing bowl, bringing both to the table and sliding the small portion over to his employer. Then he promptly shoved the younger man’s legs off his table and sent him tumbling onto the floor.

Rat landed with a crashing yelp and a rattle of spare parts and metal limbs. Leaping back upright and brushing himself off in a very offended way, he shot Hog a very brief glare before sitting at the table in the right way. Grabbing up a fork and shoveling noodles into his mouth, he spoke around his food. “Forget, but there was plenty of zeroes in it. There’s a reward for her return, see? I’ve already laid it out for her, and she’s game. We just got to keep her safe and quiet for a bit while the heat’s still on, and then we break for Sydney and come back with stacks of credits, and nobody in town the wiser.”

“All right,” Hog said, opening scarred lips to nibble with more delicate precision at a sliced chicken breast.

“So no splattering her pretty bits out on the sand!” Rat snapped, spraying soy sauce from his mouth in his haste. “She’s a fancy thing, really soft and delicate-like. Ya gotta be real gentle, can’t accidentally kill her or anything.”

“Hmm.”

“You got a lot of experience with fancy ladies, mate?”

“Hmm?”

“What do I gotta do to impress a fancy lady type? You know, to get her to like me?”

“…You?” Hog paused with his fork halfway to his mouth, looking his younger cohort up and down. Then he began laughing so hard that his entire body shook, immense belly wobbling against the table. “Bwwwwrrahaaa-ha-ha-haaa!”

“Fuck you Hog! Fuck you!” Rat shrilled, hurling his fork and an empty cup at him. They bounced harmlessly off his gut. “You don’t know nothing about nothing! I can figure it out on my own!”

Hog reined in his laughter with a wet snort. “Warned you not to get attached to your new pet. Last time I saw you two, she’d choked you out in the shit heap and busted your balls open.”

“That was just a misunderstanding, an accident. That’s all. She didn’t mean it. She might still give it a go with me! You dunno anything!”

“Calm down, Rat. That’s the first thing you gotta do.”

Junkrat perked up both ears, leaning forward eagerly. Unfortunately, Hog took his time and devoured several more mouthfuls of noodles and chicken before saying anything more. Grumbling, Rat rapped his knuckles on the table. “Okay! Yeah! Calm down, that makes sense. Fancy ladies are easily spooked. Like a horse or one of those faintin’ goats on the videos. S’hilarious. You ever see a goat faint, Hog? Or a—”

“Don’t compare them to horses or goats.”

“Right, right, right! Okay, what else? Give me something good. We aren’t exactly startin’ off on a great foot here to begin with. Uh, she’s not too fond of me chaining her to a wall, and having no pants on, and some of the finer details.”

Roadhog uttered a massive sigh. “Why bother? Just turn her in for the money.”

Looking conflicted, Rat busied himself by shoving the last of his noodle slop into his bottomless stomach before wiping at his stained chin with one arm. “I dunno. I mean, I know we’re gonna put her up for the reward. But s’just…ya know? We got some time until then. And she’s not a junker so…I dunno. Maybe she don’t know who I am yet, so she won’t laugh me off right away? Like maybe there’s still a tiny chance. I’m still at least half a blue-blooded bloke, I still got the parts what matter. Maybe she won’t notice the bad bits? Maybe she… I dunno.”

Hog eyed him a little more carefully, frowning at something he must have said. “Hm. Rat—”

“And have you seen her tits? Fucking amazing. She’s an absolute beaut.”

“Other shoe always drops,” Hog sighed. “First, get her something to wear. Make her comfortable. And try not to overwhelm the girl with…you.”

“Okay, yeah! Pants first. I mean, she’s gotta wear pants before I can get in them, ya know what I’m saaaayin’?” Rat leaned to the side, jabbing his mate in the side with one uncomfortably pointy elbow. “Ya hear?”

Hog just sighed again.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. Just reel myself in maybe a little bit. Make sure she’s comfy while she’s here. Make sure those bludgers don’t come and try to get her back. Rip ‘em to shreds if they do, every last one of ‘em.”

“They better not even know she’s here,” Roadhog rumbled dangerously. “Keep her quiet. Can’t fight a whole army.”

“Quiet as a mouse, promise. Pile on those creature comforts until she’s happy here. Oh! Right, uh, you got any broccoli?”

“…Broccoli?”

“She said she won’t eat meat. Fuckin’ weirdest thing I’ve heard all day, but arright. Vegetarian. Vegetarians love broccoli, don’t they?”

“…You’re trying. I’ll get something.”

“Thanks, mate!”

Rat chattered away the hours while Hog mostly ignored him and focused on other things, and interrupted him only to point out that the sun was down and he had a guest to tend to. Scrambling back out the door with a wave and a renewed sense of hope, Junkrat went strutting back to his own side of the yard, sliding his keys into the proper locks in the proper order. He just had to keep his head, that was all. Keep things under control, and impress her, and she’d be begging for kisses and more by the end of the week.

Flinging open the door, he barreled through happily, crowing aloud. “I’m hooome! Mei? Mei! What’re you— OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”


	5. Chapter 5

Mei looked up in a very guilty way from where she was crouched in front of the completely dismantled old television, its mechanical guts strewn on the floor. She’d rigged up a very crude semblance of a screwdriver from a connector tube,a rod, and several wires-- which she foolishly went to hold behind her back like a child caught with candy. And much like a child caught in the act, with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar, she sputtered and tried to make up some story or other.

“O-oh. I was just…I was—” She looked down at the mangled wires, projectors, and television bits in her lap. “I was only—”

The junker stormed across the room in a few long limping strides, glaring down at her and thrusting his metal hand out in a very accusatory way. “No! Bad girl! Give!”

At a loss when faced with someone scolding her like a dog, she dropped the makeshift screwdriver into his hand. His lower jaw thrust out thoughtfully as he turned it around, inspecting it with a keen eye. Slowly, his wild eyebrows lifted again, glancing between the tool and her and then back again. His fingers tested the wires around the tube’s hold, and he uttered a little ‘hmmm’ as he bent over and peered into the now-gutted tv.

After a moment, he turned to her with his crazy grin restored. “Yooouuu were trying to make an outie!”

“A-a what?”

“An outie! Ya know, trying to make an external signal! Tryin’ for an outward-facer, weren’t you? Lookit that, I see where you were pokin’ around behind the control receiver. Lucky for me, removed that thing ages ago. Needed it for something else, can’t remember what. It’s remote-workin’ only. Still, the fact you even knew where to look! Oh you clever little cunt, going to make an outie from my own telly. You’re something special, you are.”

Her eyes darted. She wasn’t used to being called a cunt, even in the Australian friendly sense. But he didn’t even seem angry at her. And even though she couldn’t keep up with his rapid slang entirely, he was right about the part about where she was trying to get an external signal. The tech here was so ancient that they still used old channels for uploading and ordering over the television, and she’d hoped that maybe if she could pry out the external, she could have rigged it to find a way online.

She’d expected him to be angry, or even possibly try to punish her when he found out, but at least she could have gotten a message for help. Overwatch might not have paid the junkers like Junkrat had hoped, but she would have been rescued (properly rescued, anyway) sooner than later. It was a calculated risk, and she had decided to take it.

But the inside of the television had been a mess before she’d even started it. It looked like someone, probably Junkrat had himself, had already taken it apart and cobbled it back together several times over. And the parts she’d needed had long been pried out, with a bypass and some wires hot-glued so the display still worked. But her plans to get the signal out had been thwarted before she’d even begun. It was as he’d said. The external had been ripped out ages ago, and she’d been poking around for anything else before he’d walked in on her.

He suddenly flopped down to sit on the mattress next to her, peg leg clattering and the joints within his arm whirring very faintly as he passed her makeshift screwdriver back to her. “Tell you what, love! You put it all back together again so I don’t miss any games, and I won’t even be pissed at ya much. That’s what a proper hero would do, roight? Although you’re really working at being the top worst houseguest I’ve ever hosted, and that’s really sayin’ something..”

Mei looked away in a rather guilty way. “I’m sorry, Mr. Fawkes. But I just needed to try and call my friends and tell them I’m okay. If they can get here, I’ll try to get them to give you some money and we’ll just leave, and then there won’t be any more trouble for either of us, right? It’ll just take them a day or two, and you’ll get paid. That’s what you want, right?”

He sputtered a little, running a hand through his filthy scorched hair. “W-well that’s not entirely…Asides, that’s not even the point!” He shoved one of the television parts into her other hand. “I been trying to tell you, there’s a reason we’re layin’ low with you. And I don’t need a bunch of cops or whatever suddenly runnin’ up outside my trailer and broadcasting to all of Junkertown that I was the one that stole you from the Big Boss!”

She pushed the rods back into place, twisting awkwardly at a loose wire. “What if I told them to be very quiet about it? Or maybe I could meet them somewhere?”

“You think the Queen don’t have eyes all over the bloody Outback?” he scoffed, holding the frame steady for her. “You don’t understand my position, love. Me and the Queen don’t exactly uh…Well, y’know. Not always the friendliest terms, me and her and kind of all the rest of ‘em too! So that’s why we’ll just take you out when it’s safe, take our pay, and scuttle back. Stealth mission! That’s still the plan. The Boss will be none the wiser, and then you can get back to whatever not-doctor stuff you do, and I can use some of the pay to visit you in China!”

Mei frowned at him, gathering up more screws and trying to replicate the mess that had held together the guts of the screen before. “I’m not really living in Xi’an anymore. That’s just where I’m from. I’m living in—” She trailed off, and realized all of a sudden that she had no idea where she was anymore. She had drifted ever since awakening in Antarctica, but where was home now? Gibraltar? She had turned Overwatch down for now, although Winston had told her there was always a place for her there. The environmental commissions had offered her numerous places to study and lodge, but she didn’t count them as a home. Her hotel room back in Sydney, maybe? No, that was silly…

Junkrat sniffed, looking a tad offended when she went silent. “Still feelin’ tight-lipped, are we? S’fine. You don’t gotta tell me.”

“I-it’s not that…”

He reached past her, crossing two of the wires and twisting them together. “Point being, darl, is that you just gotta suck it up and wait. And believe me, nobody hates waitin’ more than I do! But I can’t have you settin’ off and getting us seen by the Big Boss who ordered you. He’ll send enough manpower out here t’make a statement that nobody steals from him. And he won’t even get the chance to kill me, because Roadie will have already done it, for makin’ trouble for him!”

“Mr. Fawkes, it’s not my intention for anyone to get hurt. But can’t you at least let me tell someone that I’m safe? That I’m coming back and I’m okay?”

“Eh, they’ll just find out when we deliver you safe n’ sound, is what!” he replied cheerfully, apparently just not understanding her distress. “So it’s no worries. But you just— well, no way to say it lightly, is there? If you fuck this up for us, there’s a good chance that we’re dead as doornails. You just gotta be a good girl and sit tight and listen to what I say.”

She rankled a bit, pausing in her work, and her displeasure must have showed because Junkrat offered her that goofy grin and shrugged a bony shoulder.

“Nothing for it!” he said. “Otherwise it’s curtains for me and Roadie, and the Big Boss will find you again. Oh, and he won’t be happy, darl. Course, we’ll be dead but he’d take you alive, so he’ll probably take it out on you for giving him trouble and making him look bad. He’s that sort of a bloke. You think the ankle cuff there’s bad? Yeah, nah, I bet he’s already got a set-up ready for you. Probably tie you up an’—”

“Mr. Fawkes!”

He sputtered, at least realizing his folly. “Oh! Uh, well! Uh! Y-you know what I’m talkin’ about, Miss Mei! So let’s just fix the telly, put it back on the sports, then I’ll make us some tucker before we’re in for the night, yeah? All cozy, just you and me.” He reached across to the dials on the front of the television, flicking it on. But the screen wavered, and he cursed and brought his fist down on the frame hard enough to make Mei jump. “Bloody thing! How’d you even know how to take this apart, anyway? You don’t seem like a junker.”

“I am most certainly not a junker!” She carefully jammed her wobbly screwdriver into the back, tightening up the last bits as the frame crackled and the picture buzzed and solidified. “I told you, I have a doctorate in climate science, but I also studied mechanical engineering. I had to learn to make things work…during…emergencies…”

_The emergency beacon blinked uselessly. No signal. Cold. It was so cold and getting colder. The wind howled outside, and she watched the ice grow thicker on the panes. The broken communication towered so tall above her, unable to send her desperate need for help. The lights flickered—_

No. She couldn’t think about that now. She was back in the world again. Even if she was far, far away from where she should have been. If she even belonged anywhere, anymore.

Rat’s voice was talking, but she hadn’t been listening. “-arian meals, but I dunno what counts. Oi. Oi! Mei?”

She looked up from where she had been staring blankly into the back of the television. “I-I’m sorry. What?”

He prattled on, apparently not noticing anything amiss. “Wow, guess your head’s really more rattled than I thought! I was sayin’ the telly is working, what do you wanna eat? You said you’re not much for sausages. Shame, that. Could’ve fixed us a nice barbecue, all celebratory-like! Are you sure you don’t wanna sausage? Maybe you just haven’t had the right kind! You ever tried roo? Now, your very own Chef Junkrat knows how to prepare—”

“No thank you,” she said primly. “I would prefer not to eat a kangaroo if I don’t have to, please.”

“Tchaw! You’re missing out, I’ll have you know. Looks like the telly’s workin’ fine. Who knew I bagged a lil’ genius doctor lady when I was bein’ a hero? Of course, you’ve been giving me lots of trouble for it.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Fawkes. I’m honestly not trying to get anybody hurt.” She folded her arms back over her knees with a frown. “I just wanted to tell my friends I’m okay. They must be so worried. Especially after…I told them I would be okay on my own. I thought I could get my life back on track? Poor Winston must be out of his mind if he’s heard by now—”

Junkrat eyed her rather carefully, though when she mentioned Winston’s name his bushy eyebrows shot up. “Oi! Who’s Winston? You got a boyfriend already?”

“Wh-No! Noooo no no. Winston is just a friend of mine. He’s a…um, he’s a fellow scientist,” she said. Junkrat was so unpredictable, she didn’t want to even begin to explain that the one she had been trying to contact was a super intelligent bio-engineered gorilla from the moon who was now running a covert Overwatch team. “He’s one of my old colleagues.”

The junker visibly relaxed. “Eh, I’m sure you can tell him you’re fine when we get you back to Sydney. No frets, darl! You just let ol’ Junkrat take care of everything until it’s safe out.” He hesitated, glancing down at his hand, before going to place it on her bare shoulder. “Chin up! It’ll all look better in the morning. Here we go, put the telly on whatever you like, and I’ll whip us up a supper!”

Mei sighed quietly. She was still pretty hungry, and it looked like she was going to spend the night on her mattress no matter what. Maybe she could at least convince Junkrat to take that awful chain off her leg? And she wasn’t going to get on his good side by wrecking the man’s few belongings or being too terse with him. So she just nodded politely, and tried to ignore how his fingers left little stains on her pale skin when he gave her a chummy little shake.

“I…I’m sorry about your TV. And your neck. And um—”

“Wot? My balls?”

Her eyes darted away behind her glasses, lips pinching at the mention. “Um.”

“S’alright! Though that was quite the fuckin’ direct shot, if you must know. Who woulda guessed you were such a fighter? Put up quite the scrap. Woulda been funny if the balls weren’t mine. You just have a rest and don’t worry your pretty head too much. I’ve got everything under control!”

 

* * *

 

He had everything under control. Even if Mei was proving to be a much harder nut to crack than he’d first thought. Especially after she had been the one to crack his nuts. But the little lady seemed pacified for now, or at least resigned to her fate. She had even apologized for their little misunderstandings earlier, which he considered a step forward.

And best of all, this ‘Winston’ wasn’t her boyfriend. Definitely another step forward.

Maybe she’d lighten up after a tucker and a good night’s sleep. He didn’t have any broccoli to give her: not yet, but he’d get her a whole pile of vegetables to gnaw on like a rabbit, and maybe she’d finally smile for him.

As it was, he would have to try and whip up something with what he already had. So he leapt upright, turned to give her a fond pat on her head, and limped over into his makeshift kitchen. What did he have, anyway? He always kept a ready supply of meats, but those were out. So were his cans of soups, his canned curries, and even his emergency cans of dog food (which he’d been forced to turn to more than once) all had meat in them. He was a carnivore at heart, and had stocked accordingly.

He eventually settled on dumping some beans and rice together, popping in some canned corn, onions, and several different types of hot sauce. Frankly, the whole meal looked like a rather sad affair to him. Even adding the dog food might have livened it up a bit. But for her, he persisted. He persisted in making her this sad, sad, healthy slop even when he had better stuff available, for whatever crazy reasons she had.

The television hummed the low voices of some news program, much as it always did. But he could occasionally hear her shuffling on her mattress behind him. A few times she even coughed or sniffled, reminding him that she was there. Dare he say, it felt almost wholesome? Just your average bloke cooking dinner for his date. Yes, his date was currently chained to the wall on pain of death for everybody, but he could ignore that part and hopefully she could eventually do the same.

“Soup’s up, love!” He whirled around with a steaming platter of rice slop, sticking the mixing spoon in it and walking it over to her. “Now, it might not look like much! But it…uh…well, it’s…it’s not much, actually. But I’ll get you something better soon, swear it.”

“Oh! N-no, it’s fine. Thank you, Mr. Fawkes.” She looked down at the rather anemic-looking meatless meal, seeming to inspect it.

He was heartened to see that it seemed to pass muster, and soon she was digging into it with hungry zeal like before. He really needed to get her a proper spoon if she was going to stay with him, although some part of him delighted at the way her precious little lips stretched around that larger spoon. Probably best not to watch too close then. He might start imagining other things and the last thing he needed was to pop a fat and then have to explain the bulge in his shorts to her. Couldn’t scare her or anything.

Instead he all but collapsed into a cross-legged sit at the coffee table across from her, starting to shovel food into his open jaws. They watched TV and ate together, which was what regular people did on dates, and things were going splendidly. Even if they had roughed each other up a bit and misunderstood intentions at first, that was all in the past now. He just needed to take Hog’s advice and try not to overwhelm his guest with…himself. And he could be charming without being overwhelming, if he was careful.

What did city folks talk to each other about? Mei was a fancy lady and his usual topics of bombs, sports, and barbecue probably wouldn’t interest someone like her. He eyed her where she was watching the screen, clearing his throat and trying to think of something else.

“S-so! Uh! It’s uh, it’s really weather we’re having, isn’t it?”

Shit. That probably wasn’t it.

She blinked and turned to him with a slightly confused expression. “Oh? Um, yes? I suppose it is. Although it’s really too hot for my tastes.”

“Phwaw, this is barely hot at all! Barely breaking a sweat in the arvo. Asides, better to be too hot than too cold.”

She tilted her adorable head at him. “Well…I’m afraid you’re going to be in for a very long few months ahead for your winter, then.”

“Eh?”

“Mm-hm. We were just talking about it at the climate summit. The dead zone in the Pacific has altered one of the main equatorial currents to your east, and the Flinders current is no longer going to push back the Antarctic Circumpolar current, which means all that cold water and weather coming northward from the pole is going to clash with another system that’s going to come from the Tasman Front and going to outflow, and create what is probably going to be rather harsh storm conditions, combined with the cooling effect from—”

He stared at her dumbly as she went on, his fork half-raised. She jabbered on more about things he didn’t understand, using words he didn’t understand, and she might as well have just been speaking Chinese at him, for all he knew. She even started gesturing, talking about frontflows and currentwhatsits and prevailingthingies.

“Oi!” he said eventually, pointing his fork at her. “You’re like a weatherlady on the telly! You didn’t say you were a weatherlady!”

She looked a bit irked at that, cute lips pinching off to the side. “I am not a weatherperson. I mean, not like that. And weather is just one aspect of the whole climate, the whole environment. I told you, I have my doctorate in climate science.”

“A weather doctor!”

“I…Um. Okay, yes. A weather doctor. I told you, I was taken from the environmental summit in Sydney. That’s why I was there. There are so many things that I can try to help with here. Australia has very particular problems with climate shifting—”

“And bots!” he agreed. “Fuckin’ omnics really did a number on Oz, eh?”

She looked at him and he couldn’t really place her expression, so he just continued.

“Roadie says things were real different afore the Omnium blew us all to hell.”

“Your friend— erm, your bodyguard? Was he around for the cataclysm? Were you? I mean…you knew Australia before the omnium, before there were junkers?”

“Heh! I guess so. Not sure how old I am, really. Don’t matter. Not that I can remember any of it, afore Junkertown. Ah, real shame I can’t take you into town proper.” He brightened, grinning at her again. “Show you some real junker culture. You ever been to a scrappin’, Mei?”

“A-a what?”

“A scrappin’! Oh it’s load of fun, you’ll love it. I’ll take you to one eventually. They test out the new mechs and fighters on the omnics we bring into the arena. Blood and oil, oi oi oi!” He hooted, banging his palms down on the table enthusiastically and not noticing her startled jump. “I bet I can get us tickets to the splash zone, even! And after the champs have finished scrappin’ the last omnic, they sweep all of ‘em up into the pit! Hehe! Sometimes they’re still twitching, although not for long after we start lootin’ for parts—”

She looked upset for some reason. “Mr. Fawkes, please!”

“Huh? Oh!” He blinked at her, smiling sheepishly. “Forgot you’re all fancy-like. Probably don’t want blood and oil all over your nice clothes, once I get some for you. We might miss out on the best parts by the time we get there, but for you? S’alright! We can just sit in the back. You can still see enough from the nosebleed section, and the back bleachers aren’t too—”

“No! No, Mr. Fawkes! Junkrat, that’s absolutely horrible. H-how can you even suggest…No, I don’t want to see that. That’s murder! You are talking about murdering innocent omnics. I’ve read stories about junkers disliking omnics, but this—!”

“Wha? Nah, nah, it’s fine. Aw, you got a real tender heart, huh? They’re just bots. They don’t got feelings.”

“That is not true!” She pushed her mostly empty plate away, giving him a horrified glare. “Just because omnics are different from us, that doesn’t mean they’re not people! Please don’t tell me you believe such awful things!”

Junkrat was torn between trying to pacify her and argue his point. His brain and his tongue couldn’t agree with each other, and it resulted mostly in him sputtering again, spittle flying off his lower lip, eyes flickering aimlessly from object to object in front of him as if searching for a solution. “Wha— No! Ffft! Sppt, nah! Yeah!— I mean, they don’t! Yeah, nah! No! Eh!”

That didn’t seem to help things. Mei only looked more affronted than before. “That is terrible. Completely barbaric. I’d read all kinds of warnings but I thought— Hmph! No wonder everyone hates junkers!”

His mind came into a sharp focus all at once, head jerking towards her. “Wot’s that?”

“I said that it’s barbaric behavior, omnics are—”

“Everyone hates junkers, eh?” he corrected her coldly, and his voice sounded strange even to himself. “Junkers like me? S’that what you said? No wonder, eh?”

“What? No!” She faltered slightly. “W-well I…I had heard warnings…”

“Warnings about junkers, yeah! Everyone hates ‘em! Trash! Belong in a bin where they were probably born, right?! Garbage people from a garbage home, nothin’ good can come from junk!” he snapped. “Yeh! Who told you all them warnings? Your little doctor friends? All the rest of you suits?”

“I never said—”

“Nah, s’great! Didn’t wanna take you to a scrappin’ anyway. Might get a speck of dust under your fingernails, perish the thought! And sorry my house isn’t good enough for you. And all the rest of it. Hope I didn’t filth you up too bad when I lifted you out of that boot. I know you suits aren’t used to us dirty junkers n’ all!”

She had been a suit after all. He’d been so stupid. No wonder Roadie had laughed at him. He’d been mooning over some stuffy foreign weather doctor, and she’d only been using her adorable little lips to sneer at him. This whole time she’d been sneering at him and he hadn’t let himself see it. He’d wanted so badly to believe that it had all been a misunderstanding, that she was just a good girl who was out of her element and just needed a helping hand. But he only had one hand, and she found that hand to be filthy and beneath her. Everyone hated junkers, after all.

Just another suit who looked down on him, like everyone else.

That was probably why she was wincing down, backing up on her mattress. “No! No, I didn’t say that. That just…it came out wrong, please. Let’s just calm down, Mr. Fawk—”

“You done with your food or not? I got things t’do,” he grumbled. “Things what might offend your sensibilities and all, doctor.”

Lowering her head, she slid her plate towards him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I am sorry, it’s just been a long day…”

“Then go t’sleep.” He snatched the plate and scraped it onto his own, carrying them off towards the sink. He ate the rest of his meal there, refusing to look back at her.

He could feel her eyes on him, though. And several times she made a noise like she was trying to get his attention. But if he turned around, he was going to say things that weren’t appropriate for a fancy lady like her…and he wasn’t sure if he sincerely meant them or not. So he just kept eating, shoveling the rest of their meals into his open maw. Even this shitty vegetarian meal he’d tried to make for her: waste not, want not.

“Mr. Fawkes?” she called gently. “Junkrat?”

He swallowed another mouthful of rice slop.

“…Jamison?” she tried.

She’d remembered his real name. Shit. Why’d it have to sound so nice when she said his name?

He paused, wiping at his lips with his forearm before he whirled around without looking at her. Limping over to his couch, he snatched up the rough blanket crumpled up atop it and unfurled it before throwing it at her. It settled rather comically over top of her like a shroud, though she pulled it slightly to the side and peered up at him with one of those big, beautiful brown eyes of hers…

Shame he was still peevish at her and all. He was allowed to admire if he was still angry, wasn’t he? Maybe he should ask Roadie that one, the old pig man seemed to have a real knack for romance and all. Maybe he’d been right about rescuing his fair damsel in distress, too. Being a hero was nothing but an awful lot of trouble.

“Just go t’bed, Miss Mei,” he finally grumbled, rubbing at the bruise around his throat. “You said it. Been a long day. Gonna stay up for a bit, draw up some new plans…Get you back to the city proper all the earlier so’s I can get my reward and you can get outta here. Win, win!”

“Is there anything I can do? I’m sorry for earlier— I sometimes have a temper, I know. Or…” She sighed a little when he climbed onto his stool at his workdesk instead. “M-maybe we can talk in the morning?”

He grunted an affirmative and bent over his stack of papers, grabbing his least-gnawed-upon pencil and getting to work.

“Yeh, alright.”

Behind him, Mei gave him a rather concerned look, but seemed to give up. She pulled the ratty blanket over top of her, curling atop her mattress as she switched off the television and pulled off her glasses, turning her face away from the yellow glow of his desk lamp.

“Good night,” she said softly.

Damn her, why did she have to mess everything up? Now he was pissed at her instead of her being pissed at him, and he couldn’t even imagine things like pulling himself into bed after her, or wrapping himself around that soft little body all cuddly-like, and maybe even her putting those lips on his forehead for a kiss goodnight. He also couldn’t imagine waking up right next to her, and making them breakfast in the morning like he’d intended to do, or laughing over cups of coffee like he’d seen pictures of in the magazines.

Maybe it was better to just imagine the fat stack of credits he’d get when he turned her in safely?

He chanced a very brief little glance back at the little bundle under his blanket, brow knitting before he made himself turn back to his desk and his stacks of drawings and plans.

Well, maybe it would be better this way. She clearly didn’t think much of junkers. And he supposed he’d never been cut out to be a hero in the first place.

 


	6. Chapter 6

  
“Roise n’ shoine!”

A raucous voice grated inside her ears and dragged her out of her slumber. Mei groaned, huddled beneath the coarse army blanket as she curled into a tighter ball and tried to fall back asleep. Undeterred, something started poking her repeatedly in the ribs to keep her from it. Through the fog still in her head, she moaned her protest aloud and curled up even tighter.

“Zǒu kāi… I said no, Snowball. Go bother Torres,” she mumbled into the puddle of drool by her cheek.

“Wha—?” There was a pause, but then it just kept poking her even harder. “Miss Mei, wakey wakey! Mei-ky wakey! Oi!” It prodded her hard enough to make her oof. “I dunno who Snowball or Torres is, but s’time to get up!”

She thrust one arm out from under her blanket, groping blindly for her glasses. There was a shuffling noise before they were tapped impatiently against her knuckles, and she gripped onto them and dragged them under, setting them askew on her face as she finally sat up. The blanket slid off her, leaving her groggy and discombobulated with her eyes half lidded and her hair curling out at odd angles. She blinked one eye slowly, then the other…and suddenly remembered where she was.

Junkrat was grinning down at her, eerily backlit by the rising sun streaming in his kitchen window. “Well ain’t you a chipper thing in the morning! Blimey. Thought it was just all the drugs they’d pumped you with when you woke up before, but now I’m thinkin’ you just sleep like a roadkilled roo all the time.”

Startling, she wiped quickly at both eyes and whirled about on her mattress. She was still trapped in the junker hovel, dressed in little more than a flimsy jersey, and— she moved her leg and looked down to check— was still bound by the heavy chain and cuff around her ankle. Looking around frantically, it all came crashing back to her. It hadn’t been some horrible dream, and she was still…here.

Junkrat only looked amused at her alarm. “Heh! The look on your face, darl! Not much of a morning person, are we? Not to worry, not to worry, I got something what will knock you up in the morning!”

A moment later, a mug full of rather foul-smelling black coffee was shoved up under her nose, the steam fogging her glasses up. Grabbing onto it and easing the cup back down, she watched as Junkrat returned to retrieve himself a cup— or no, he just grabbed the entire glass pot out of the coffeemaker and started chugging the still-molten brew directly out of it. With a happy sigh, he wiped at his pointed chin with his arm and smacked his lips while she tried to figure out how the junker hadn’t burned his jaws right off.

“Now that’s more like it!” He crowed, caffeine already seeming to course through him. Mei wondered if the caffeine was the cause of his nearly constant jittering, but likely it only exacerbated it. He was already twitching as he hurled the pot to the side with a crash. “Who wants brekky?!”

“What time is it? How long have you been awake?” she mumbled, adjusting her glasses groggily. Taking a sip of the coffee, she winced at the flavor of boiled dirt and something akin to gasoline. But bad coffee was still coffee, and she preferred to be alert, so she drank it down all the same.

“Oh I couldn’t sleep at all! Got lots of idears about lots of things, had to get them all out. Was all riled up last night.”

She winced, clutching her mug. “Oh…I am sorry about that. I didn’t mean what I said, or how I said it. Honest.”

“Wot? How’s that, sorry for what?”

“Um, you not being able to sleep? You still being angry? At…me?” she trailed off as he just looked at her.

“Am I?” he wondered aloud. “Huh. Yeh, remember being right pissed at you, l’il love…What were we on about, again? Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter.”

Was he trying to trick her? It was hard to tell. Mei’s eyes darted, and she took another sip of coffee to give herself another moment to think. But honesty won out in the end, when she faced him again. “No, I want to apologize. There was a misunderstanding—”

“Yeah nah, probably wasn’t important. Who wants eggies! We still got eggies!”

“But what I said…?”

“What was it you said, then?”

She didn’t want to set him off again by reminding him, that was for sure. Did he possibly have memory issues? Did she really want to dredge up the fight from the night before? The junker may not have wanted to harm her, but he was still wildly unpredictable and the last thing she wanted was to prolong her time here or make it even more unpleasant. So after a few more moments of deliberation, she offered an unsure shrug and a mumble instead.

“Um. Nothing.”

He turned his back on her, cracking egg after egg into his camp stove pan until it was nearly overflowing. “Anyhow, had lots of idears for plans on when we get you back to Sydney. And lots of things to buy once we get that tidy bit of reward, too. Who woulda thought that I snagged some sort of famous weather doctor, eh? What’re you famous for, did you discover a new sort of rain? Because if so, we could do with the kind of rain what doesn’t strip the skin right off ya.”

“Well, I’ve never been in one of the storms in Australia, but they did bring in samples of the water. It’s barely water anymore. It’s amazing that there’s any civilization out here at all.”

His chest puffed as he scrambled the eggs. “That’s junkers for ya! We can handle anything. What’s a little acid rain now and again? I drank plenty of the stuff when I was a mite and I’m just fine!”

Mei winced inwardly but chose not to comment. He soon carried her a plate of breakfast, and they both sat at the little coffee table as began yet another bizarre meal with her captor. Junkrat chattered around mouthfuls about the weather; with acid rain, raging radioactive storms, and perpetual drought being among the troubles. She tried to listen, but he seemed more intent on gruesome stories about people melting than he did on any clues to Australia’s actual weather patterns.

Eventually she was distracted by a steady ticking noise, as she finished the last bite of her eggs and looked about. “Oh, you might want to turn that off?”

“Wot?”

“The egg timer? Did you forget? For your eggs?”

He lofted a wild brow at her, tilting his head and listening to the ticking, before he made a choked barking noise and suddenly lunged up and over the coffee table, bowling her over in the process. He made a full body dive for his workbench, grabbing something off the top and jabbing his thumb onto the little metal parcel atop it. “Waaugh! Shit shit shit!”

Mei pulled herself upright again from where she’d been run over, pulling at her glasses. “Ow! What on earth!”

The ticking stopped. Junkrat lay half sprawled on his bench, relaxing with a loud sigh as he rolled onto his back amidst the screws and tools and loose metal jabbing him in the back. “Phwaw! Good ear, darl! Was working on that just before breakfast. Almost forgot about this l’il baby right here, got all distracted-like. Not to worry though, wouldn’t have been a big one even if it had gone off.”

“G-gone off? Wait is that a—” Her eyes widened. “Is that a bomb? Is that a live bomb!”

“Of course it is, what else would it be? Got a whole collection right here.”

She sputtered, waving both arms. “Why! Why do you have live explosives in your house!”

“Where else am I gonna bloody keep them, Mei! Maybe you got extra bomb closets in your fancy suit weather-mansion, but in this humble abode you just gotta make do. Plus, Roadie doesn’t want them in the garage, and he doesn’t want me in the garage workin’ on them. Aw, don’t make that face, love. It’s a small ‘un, would’ve barely made a boom…I mean, it might’ve set off a bunch of the other ones too, but nothing doing! See, it’s all fine, it’s all good! I’ve been working on these all last night, aren’t they beauties?”

“W-what do you even need so many bombs for? Can’t you keep them outside? And why did you have so many bombs outside, too? What kind of place is this? They’re not all for me, are they? They can’t be!”

“Now, now, sweetness. You’re a lovely lady and all, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he replied in a rather smarmy tone, giving her an amused look. “Not all for you, per se. I’m true blue an’ love my kin and countryman to the core, but I’ll be damned before I let other junkers try to scrap mine and Roadie’s scores. Can’t trust that lot as far as you can throw them. Not at all an honest gent like myself. I’m just protecting what’s mine. You included, of course.”

“But they’re right next to where you were cooking,” she muttered in a small voice, still pale as she watched him cheekily throw the bomb up and down in one hand. “It just doesn’t seem very safe?”

“Bein’ a difficult houseguest again, you are. I’ve handled these little darlings all my life and never had any trouble. Other than the leg. And the arm. And a few toes that one time, but I found ‘em again in time. Buuuut…” He seemed to finally take notice of the way she was looking at him, and the bombs he was now literally juggling. “But can tell you’re the tender-hearted sort, so I’ll put them up for now. Never let anyone tell you I’m not a courteous host, Miss Mei!”

He finally stopped his showmanship with the live devices, stacking them up and dumping them into a crate by the door, unlocking the entry into the backyard. Undoing the locks, there were several clicks and a crank before it fell open. Hot, dry morning air rushed in, sending her hair fluttering as she shielded herself from the onslaught of heat with one raised arm.

Junkrat muttered and giggled to himself, grabbing up the crate of bombs and jostling them around entirely too much for her liking as he hobbled out the door and disappeared around the bend. The open door yawned before her, just out reach. She couldn’t help but to pull at the chain to the makeshift ankle cuff, yanking it with a clatter of heavy metal, but it was still attached too firmly to its post in the wall.

There was a sharp whistle as he poked his wild head back inside. “Oi, Mei! You need to use the toilet? Who wants walkies!”

“That’s not funny,” she groused. But she stood anyway, as he limped over to the wall and undid her chain. “And can we please discuss the whole chained-to-the-wall thing later? I know you said it’s for my own safety but you can’t j—”

He unfastened her from the wall, prodding her hard in the back to get her moving, out the door and into the scorching sand yard. “Yeah nah. Until I can really trust you t’be a good girl, I gotta make sure you won’t be causing us any more trouble. Hog’ll have my bloody hide, he would, just having you wander about. Speaking of!”

They approached the dunny outhouse once more, though Rat seemed oddly attentive as he straightened up behind Mei and lifted his shrill voice.

“Oi, Hog, mate! That you in there?”

Mei blinked. There was no sign of anyone else that she could see. But after a moment there was a low rumble that reverberated from inside the metal cylinder. “…Hhmm.”

The door flung open and a meaty black-nailed hand launched forward to grasp onto the corrugated metal. The massive pig-masked man from the day before ducked his huge body under the frame and turned sideways to angle his protruding belly out with him, scraping the sides as he squeezed through. Outside, he cut an even more imposing figure, casting both Junkrat and Mei into his shadow as he slowly lifted all the way upright. The fogged lenses of his mask stared like a dead thing’s, catching the light bouncing off the sand and reflecting red as he stared down at them.

Mei very quietly edged behind the lanky younger junker, barely daring to peek one eye around him, wide eyed and wary behind her glasses.

Junkrat had no such trepidation. He only wrinkled his nose, scrunching the freckle on the side of his nostril as he waved a hand in front of his face. “Awww! Bloody hell, Hog! What’d you eat! Warn a bloke and light a fuckin’ match, would ya! We got ladies present!”

At the mention of ladies, Roadhog’s head turned imperceptibly to the side to where the smaller woman was cowering behind his young partner. Mei shrank down even more, forgetting her wariness of Junkrat as she all but clung to his bony back, no matter the amount of ash and dirt he smeared on her. Rat blinked and lifted one arm, turning to look under it at where she had recoiled.

“And they say I’m the one who sets off bombs. Weapon of mass destruction, you are. Look at her, mate. Looks ready to faint again right here and now, the poor bird. Not to worry, darl,” he said, pulling her up against his side and stroking her head like a favorite pet. “You’re probably used to things like bidets and perfumes and toilet paper, bet you’re real sensitive in the olfactory areas, eh? Here, I’ll go in there first while it airs out. That’s the gentlemanly thing to do, ain’t it! Hog, you look after her for a moment. Uh…Mei? Mei!”

He had started to try and walk forward, only to have Mei wrap her arms around his scrawny waist, shaking her head frantically as she stared at the pig-masked killer in front of them. But Rat only dragged her forward with him, and she quailed when she saw him lean down and pick up her chain, placing it in the hand of his monstrous bodyguard.

Rat beamed down at her even as he started to peel her off of him. “There we are! Not to worry, this big lug won’t hurt you. Will ya, Hoggie?”

Roadhog’s black-nailed fingers clenched slowly around the chain in answer.

 

***

* * *

 

  
Junkrat finished his business while his mate watched the girl. Buttoning his shorts back up, he exited the dunny and left the door open to air the place out for his company. Roadhog was standing exactly where he’d left him, holding the chain where Mei was standing as far away as possible and looking ready to piss herself right then and there. Poor thing, she must have really had to go.

“Arright, your turn Miss Mei. Go on, go on,” he said, motioning to Roadhog to drop the chain.

It clattered to the ground, and Mei gave his standover man a very wide berth as she clenched her sports jersey down as much as she could and scuttled into the outhouse, muttering in shrill Mandarin that he couldn’t entirely make out. The door slammed shut, and Junkrat turned to his bodyguard with a smug grin.

“See! No choking or ball-busting this time. No more misbehavin’ from her. She’s gonna be a good girl after all. I told you!”

Roadhog merely rumbled a disagreement.

Junkrat stretched upward, bones creaking as he turned towards the blinding sunlight. “Think I was mad at her, though? Can’t remember why. Think it was something she said…She doesn’t like bombs very much, maybe it was that? Or did I dream it? Anyhow, came to a decision. Need to go into town and fetch a few lady things. We can’t very well return her in that sort of state, half starkers. S’not what gents do. Soooo, I’m going to head out in a bit, might need you to—”

“No,” Hog said.

“Just for a few hours! Oh come on! We’re mates, you and me. I don’t want to leave her wastin’ away all alone in there for too long. She’s a social creature, Roadie. And she’s housebroken and everything. You won’t even know she’s there. Just need you to keep an eye on her for a bit, that’s all.”

“Your pet. Your responsibility.”

Rat scoffed and kicked his peg into the dirt, sending dust flying. “We’re not going to look like heroes if we just dump her off in my old Strikers shirt. It’s got to be proper classy, like legit heroes do. And she needs things to stay tip-top. I’ll know them when I see them, sure. If you could keep tabs on her for a few ticks, it’s worth our while!”

“Not my problem. Tie her up back in the house.”

“Wait!” Junkrat sputtered, growing desperate as Hog turned and started back towards his farmhouse. He stumbled a few steps after him, dodging around to his front and walking backwards to confront him further. “Wait wait wait! Let’s make a deal, mate! How about I pick up a new thingy of hogdrogen while I’m in Junkertown?”

“Nhmm.”

“You already got enough? Uh, uh, books! I heard they got new shipments of your swooning ladybooks! You can’t live without those!”

“Nhmmm…”

“No? Uh, er. Takeaway!” Rat finally screeched in his face. “My treat! A whole bag of bao buns! And, and, a box of Queenie Biscuits and I swear on me life I won’t even eat any of them this time! Wait, wait, two boxes! Three! Three boxes!”

Roadhog stopped, wheezing in a long inhale through the mask’s filters. Junkrat stood with his clenched fists raised, biting hard onto his lower lip and staring up at him in what he hoped what a charming manner.

“Takeaway. And three boxes,” Hog finally rumbled. “That’s three boxes, no less.”

“Won’t be a crumb missin’, mate, swear it!” Junkrat slammed one hand over his heart. “Won’t at all be like last time.”

“Hhmm.”

“Not that there was any proof that it was me, mind you. All sorts of pesky rodents about, coulda gotten into your stash. Or spiders. Was prob’ly spiders, now that I think of it.”

“Hmm.”

“Anyways, she’s all yours for the next while. You know the rules. No harmin’ a hair on that pretty head, got it? Just go get a place ready for her and I’ll drop her off in just a bit before I head in.”

Hog leaned down abruptly, the pig’s snout nearly mashing into Rat’s face as the younger man nearly keeled backward. His voice was lower than usual, like the threatening rumble of thunder. “Keep. Your head. Down. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t make this worse.”

“What? Me? Roadie, I’m hurt,” Rat snapped back, slithering back around his bodyguard’s huge belly as he went sauntering back towards the outhouse. “It’s all going according to plan. Sure our plan’s changed a little bit since that day, but plans change, mate. You’ll still get your coin, coin and cookies. What else could a man like you ask for, ya big galumph? Plus, you two can have bonding time! You know, where my best mate gets to really sit down with my best girl, have a heart to heart. Not in a romantic way, mind you. Say, you’re not having designs on her, or are y—”

Roadhog didn’t answer, already vanishing back into the yawning doors of his farmhouse.

With an offended sniff, Rat pivoted on his peg and returned to where Mei had just exited the dunny, looking a little sick as she shut the door behind her. Junkrat sidled up nearby, leaning one hand on the wall as he towered over her with a grin. “You need some charcoal, love? No shame in the runs here, I know it’s not caviar and mayonnaise like you’re used to. If you got messy guts, just pop a few charcoals and you’ll be right as rain.”

Mei only winced. “N-none for me, thank you. Can we not talk about that?” She hiked self-consciously at her jersey again, trying to pull it down where it constantly rode up those nice wide thighs of her.

He tried not to watch that part, clearing his throat and making himself look at the face again, launching out one hand to her shoulder to still her when she went to turn away. “Wait wait wait, not back to the house yet. Got a bit of a surprise.”

Her eyebrows lifted hopefully. “Really? Are we going to take this awful chain off? Oh, I’m so glad!”

“W-well, we can talk more about that part later,” he shrilled, going to wrap one long arm around her shoulders in the smoothest way he could…which was not very smooth at all. And not helped by the fact that she was so tiny and cute and barely reached up to his chest. It ended up more sort of dangling around her shoulder vicinity. “Step riiiight this way. Attagirl.”

Mei looked down at his hand in a rather unsure way, but she let herself be guided to walk around the long stretch of the backyard between their two houses. The chain dragged behind her in the dust the whole way, but she followed his lead.

Rat sucked on a tooth noisily, clearing his throat. “The thing is, I actually got to go and get some of the surprise.”

“Okay?”

They neared the old farmhouse, with Mei looking more and more nervous by the second. When they paused near one of the side entrances, he spun her about to face him, leaning down to her level. “Might be gone for a bit, actually. These things take time, you know! But me leaving by your lonesome didn’t end so well for my telly, did it? And it breaks my heart t’think of you by yourself in case of emergency and all. Plus, think it’d do you good, teach you to be more friendly. So I made some arrangements.”

Mei’s brow furrowed. “Arrangements? I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand? Is this about the television? I really do apologize for that. A-and for the things I said. I’m not sure you remember, but I didn’t mean them like that and I want to be honest with you.”

“Is that what I was pissed at you about? Really, darl, it’s nothing.” Rat tilted his scorched head, blinking down at the little weather doctor before him. She had stopped flinching away from him, still shy but at least able to face him. Her voice was earnest, and he was suddenly unsure how to handle her strange little apology confession for things he could scarcely recall.

“No, it was mean. And even if you don’t remember it, I still wanted to say sorry. I-I know we haven’t been the best at understanding one another…”

She never noticed the door opening behind her.

“Things have been pretty hard for me,” she continued, “Not just in the way you think. And that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with some of the things you’ve been doing! But I’m hoping that maybe if I apologize, then you can apologize too. And we can start to build towards a mutual—”

Roadhog’s enormous hand shot out from the darkness inside the dimmed farmhouse, encompassing Mei’s entire arm. Her words lifted into a high-pitched scream as she was abruptly taken right off her feet, dragged into the shadows within. Her terrified wail moved around somewhere inside the house, and the chain still attached to her ankle rattled louder than ever as it was dragged in after her.

Junkrat started in after them. “Damnit, Roadie! We was in the middle of something there! Oi oi! Remember, you gotta feed her and make sure she’s cozy! Oh, Mei! Try not to—”

The door slammed in his face, narrowly missing flattening his nose. He reeled back, rubbing at his face as the noises inside were cut off all at once. He pounded a fist on the door a few times, then snorted and shrugged, cupping both hands around his mouth to shout at the window.

“Arright! Well, you two have fun! But not too much fun! I expect both of you t’be responsible while I’m gone!”

When there was no answer, Junkrat gave another offended sniff and turned and started on his way.

* * *

 

The journey to Junkertown proper was no small travel, especially when walking with one leg. The ute was already being stripped for pieces back at the garage, and touching Hog’s chopper would have been tantamount to suicide, so he was left to hoof it. Past the ruined outskirts that littered the sand outside the town’s walls, he shoved both hands in his pockets and skulked as hard as he could to remain beneath notice. There were times to be noticed, after all, and even if he couldn’t always tell when that was, he knew to keep a low profile if needed.

The other junkers barely glanced his way, luckily. Traveling in the heat of the day was brutal, but there was a window where most of his brethren were either too lazy or too tired to bother with someone like him. In most of the buildings he passed, they were content with wiling away the noontime in the shade of the indoors; napping, tinkering, playing cards, and laughing and arguing amongst themselves.

With sweat pouring off him, he wiped an arm across his brow and limped up to the guard post by one of the smaller entries. The walls of Junkertown stretched up high, high above him: buildings made of scrap and garbage, stacked atop one another in untidy heaps, fortified with rusted metal, suspicion, and often unchecked aggression. With the sun high above him, he was even left without the shade that its high walls provided. Junkertown simply hated him that much.

The faint tunes of crackling beach rock were playing from up in the guard post, and he saw one bare dark leg slung over the railing where she was reclining. Drawing himself upright, he cleared his throat loudly and wheedled in his most charming manner.

“Ooooh Tarni! Listen, darl, I know that technically I ain’t supposed to be lurking about here, but…”

The leg was dragged back into the post, and soon replaced with a head. Her dreads had been twisted into a tied bundle, her cheeks dotted with white paint and bearing a nasty scar on one side of her face. He heard the familiar whir of her mechanical eye as it zeroed in on him. Her frown was not particularly encouraging, and neither was the cold tone of her voice.

“Junkrat,” she said. “You know the Queen says you’re still on the outs. Until you pay her back for all the damage. And you don’t look like you got the kind of payment she’s expecting after all the shit you pulled.”

He clasped both hands and grinned his most harmless grin. “Aw, Tarni, y’know me! I’m still working on getting things squared with dear Queenie. You just gotta give me more time. And maybe I don’t have the kind of payment she’s expecting…but how about a payment what _you’d_ accept, eh? You and me, we’re pals—”

“Like hell.”

“Fond acquaintances, then! And I’m not for trouble here, no no no, just needing to pick up some supplies for me and Roadie, that’s all. The big lug’s got a taste for some things and can’t be arsed, so I just need to run in and run out. Quick as a wink, darl!”

“Shut your gob and pay up. Same as last time.”

He grumbled, digging in his pockets before flashing a handful of coin, approaching the guard post and stretching up to hold it upward. “Even got a little extra for you if you can buy me some extra time.”

“We’ll see.” There was a clicking sound, then a rattling buzz as Tarni’s gloved hand came loose in its mechanical socket, lengthening down on a piston with her palm open. Rat placed the payment within, her fingers clacking down over it before she wound it back in. She counted it out where he couldn’t see, but finally snorted aloud and upnodded to him. “All right. But if you cause any trouble for me, I swear I’ll kill you before the Queen can.”

“Tarni, Tarni, won’t be any trouble at all!” He swerved into an exaggerated gentlemanly bow as the doors to Junkertown fell open for him. “Like I said. Just in and out. Heh…Hehe…in and out…”

“Ugh. Just go.”

He went.

Just like the outskirts, most of the town’s inhabitants were avoiding the noonday sun. The streets were nearly empty, save for a few transports and their guards, and the occasional pedestrian or watcher. Nobody of any status or mind to bother him, hopefully. With Tarni payed off, he had a bit of extra wiggle room. And he was very good at wiggling.

He knew just which stores to hit, too. He filled his bag with toilet paper, candies, meds, and other supplies; all payed for with his last haul from Mei’s ill-fated caravan. Most of the shopkeeps kept a wary eye on him, but let him pay and leave without trouble. Junkertown may have had a despotic Queen, but coin was King. So long as he actually paid up this time, they let him be.

The last shop, if it could even be called a shop, would be the hardest. Down the lower alleyways, past the last stops of the scrapheap and two-bit parts that even junkers didn’t want, there were the hastily-made and hastily-put away tents of the contraband merchants. Junkrat knew many of them. Although like everyone else in Junkertown, it couldn’t precisely be called a positive relationship.

So he wasn’t surprised at the glare of uninterested disgust he received as he approached one of the tents. The junker in charge, a man who was shorter than him and nearly as scrawny, leaned back in his chair and idly waved to shoo away the flies.

“Rat. Who let you back in?” His voice had been lost years ago, replaced with a computerized box lodged in his throat.

“Oh ya know, mate! I squeeze in here and there. You, er, you still sellin’ the stuff?”

“What you lookin’ to buy, ‘mate’? And how much?”

“The hard stuff. We’re talking Tim Tams and Kooka’s. Vovo’s even, if you got ‘em. Three boxes. I’m good for it.”

The man uttered a mechanical grinding noise that Rat knew to be derisive, and started to turn away before Rat flashed more coin at him. Even then, he looked him up and down doubtfully before he pulled aside the curtains a little more. Boxes of contraband from the outside; everything from cookies to ammo to vials of unidentified power to…

Rat’s eyes widened at something hanging up on the side of one of the shelves. Hanging haphazardly, there was a blue floral sundress that didn’t fit in at all with the rest of the smuggled goods: a bright spot of color in Junkertown’s world of muted browns and yellows. It would look perfect on a non-junker. It would look perfect on Mei. It even looked like it would be her exact size and shape, too. And attached was some kind of hairpin thingy of Asian origin, with a dangling bead chain.

Junkrat was already pointing at it furiously. “What’s that! Oi, that there!”

The smuggler looked up from where he was sorting through a stack of boxes. “A dress. Imported.”

“It’s for fancy lady sorts, right?”

“Guess so.”

He could already see her in it. He’d buy her a fancy lady dress, and she’d put it on and finally stop looking so uncomfortable. He’d get the hairpin, too, and she’d thank him and kiss his cheek. She could stand out in the sun in a big shady hat, with a little fragrant breeze ruffling the pastel floral fabric, and there wouldn’t be any dust on the dress or on her pale soft skin. And then maybe the wind could whip a little harder, and it would start lifting up the bottom of her dress, and she’d giggle and try to use both hands to press it back down like that babe on those movie posters from ages ago. But the wind would lift it up anyhow, and maybe she’d be wearing lacies under the—

“Stop drooling on the merchandise!” the merchant’s buzzing voice snarled, pulling a box out from under him.

Rat startled, jolting upright and wiping at his chin with one arm. “Uh! Right! Right! I’ll take it! The fancy lady dress and pin, I’m buyin’ it too!”

“ _You_ want the dress? What for?”

“F-for? Foooor? It’s for…for private occasions, arright! Three boxes of biscuits and the fancy things! I’m good for it, see!” He fumbled in his pockets again, sloppily pulling up a stack of coins and credits and nearly sending them all flying in his haste to slam it onto the merchant’s table. “Give ‘em here!”

The merchant seemed strangely agreeable to the amount for once. The boxes of cookies were wrapped inside the dress, tied into paper, and wrapped up into an assuming parcel. With a shrill cackle of delight, Rat scooped it up and shoved it under one arm, stroking the packaging greedily with his good hand as he went hobbling back down the alley.

“And the good luck keeps on comin’! What a score! Hang on, darl, I’m on the way.”

* * *

 

The merchant watched him go, quickly tugging the curtains shut. With a quick glance around, he trailed after Junkrat at a distance, following the jittery young junker all the way out of his territory. He lingered at the very edge of the last alleyway, the one that opened into the junkyards proper, and watched as Rat’s limping gait took him across to the Koala Takeaway.

He was still watching as the triumphant Rat filled up his bag with Chinese dishes and stacks of bao. The bag was already bulging with supplies and goods: goods that weren’t nearly as ill-gotten as usual. The merchant reached into his ragged coat, pulling out a communicator and mashing his dirty thumb on the button.

“Hey, Boss. Someone actually bought one of the dresses. And some of the jewelry. With plenty of credits he never seemed to have before. Yeah?…Yeah. And you’re not ever going to guess what kind of rat we caught in the trap…”

 


End file.
